Ghosts

Always

Ghost's pov
Song inspo - In the Name of Love by Martin Garrix and BeBe Rexha

The rest of the year passed by in a breeze. Christmas was always hard for me, no matter how long it had been I was always forced to remember how I lost my family that day. How I'd lost them to someone I once trusted. It was then that I stopped trusting anyone but myself. I turned into Ghost, I had no one.

All the decorations, lights, holiday cheer? It always brought back memories of blood and loss.

But this time had been a little different, and it was because of her. Senna.

I know Soap and Price had put together their plan for her, knowing how I felt about the holidays, but seeing her happy had helped me too. I had something positive to connect with that time of year now.

The memories and guilt from losing my family was something I would always carry  on my shoulders. But now I had other memories to focus on, the sound of her voice as she quietly sang along to the music, the bracelet she got me that I knew I'd never take off, her wrapped up in my arms on the couch with a cup of cocoa in her hands.

For once I was thankful to have the holidays off, because I got to spend them with her, make new memories with her.

Everything we had gone through had been worth it for even just a few minutes of time like that with her, and here I was getting to spend even longer than that by her side.

Her wound healed well as we moved into the new year and despite the weather she used her newly regained strength as an excuse to get out of the house. She made me run with her until I swore my lungs were the same temperature as outside. I didn't mind, I knew she'd been counting down the days till she was cleared for such activity.

We were heading out in another week or so. To where we weren't sure, Price hasn't briefed us yet on what the mission was. We were both looking forward to it but I knew there was something I had to do first.

I'd been mulling over Soap's advice ever since he brought it up that night in the garage.

I never saw myself getting married, or even proposing to someone. Not after I decided I didn't deserve that kind of happiness.

Even after I accepted that I was in love with Senna, it wasn't something that had crossed my mind. Not because I didn't love her enough or that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with her. I already planned on the latter when she told me she loved me.

It just didn't feel like us, I felt like what we were was already enough. There was no reason to define or label us. We weren't those kinds of people. We weren't even supposed to happen, and yet we did.

Yet the more I thought about it the more I considered it. I could only continue to love her more as we spent more time together and part of me wanted to 'take it to the next step' as Johnny would say. We were already in this deep, why not just go all the way.

It wouldn't be like any other two people getting married, it would be different for us. Not a commitment exactly, just a further understanding of each other.

If anything it was just my way of promising to her that I wasn't going anywhere, like she had promised to me. It was the most permanent 'I know' that I could give to her.

I just had to hope that she wanted it too.

"Where are we going?" Senna asked and eyed me suspiciously as I waited for her to get in the truck.

"You'll see." I answered as I climbed in to start it up.

It was still early January, still cold with a light layer of snow on the ground. Enough to crunch beneath my boots but not enough to ruin what I had planned.