Ghosts

Secrets

Senna's pov
Song inspo problems by Anne Marie

Turns out that the rebels, also known as the ULF, had rescued Price and Ghost. They were lead by Farah Karim. Of course I already knew of Farah, having met her the first time Price and I had worked in Urzikstan. She was someone I respected, a true badass fighting to get her country back from Al-Qatala.

It was why 141 had been here in the first place, why we were here now.

Still I was more than exhausted despite not having done much. I wasn't used to the travel, or the heat compared to Tokyo so I decided to let Price handle the details. He could brief me in the morning.

I felt a little guilty, that I seemed less prepared than everyone else, and I was. I was expecting to just have to come and help out the rest of my team, not stay and help fight a war.

They'd set us up rooms at their headquarters, Price had been originally rooming with Ghost but Ghost was more than happy to let Soap take his spot and room with me instead.

I didn't like people I didn't know very well knowing about us, we got a few strange looks as Ghost led me to our room, but honestly it had been too long to go without him for another night. I was getting better at not giving a fuck.

It was easier once the door closed, once we were alone. He let the lock click behind him and I moved to the bed, flopping back on it with my legs dangling over the edge.

I could have slept just like that. Sleeping in Tokyo had been difficult and I'd depended on melatonin or other sleeping aids to help me, but that had to stop now. One yea to completely unravel me, and almost no time to get back to the person I was. I was still her, I always would be, I was just a little more lazy now, a little less in shape.

I could hear Ghost removing his gear, setting his weapons against the wall before taking off his vest and holsters, then finally his mask.

I peeked up at him, taking in the features of his face as if I hadn't pictured it in my mind every night since I left.

Despite the scars, the black paint smeared around his eyes, he was beautiful, even more so because of those things.

He moved to stand in front of me then, carefully leaning down to lift up one of my feet at a time, unlacing my boots so he could pull them off.

"You look exhausted." He mentioned when I didn't fight him but raised my brow at him.

"I am." I admitted, the next few days would be long.

I sat up then, weapons digging into my back and once I did he helped me remove those too before pulling my vest up and off. He sat everything together by the door, in a nest organized pile.

"Simon," I started, his name falling off my lips with ease like I hadn't not spoken his name in a year. I wanted to ask him about Graves, I assumed they got him, I know they did. They would have never let him get away. But I wanted to know what else they learned from him, if they knew what he made me do while I was under his control.

I'd managed to somewhat deal with it while I was in Tokyo. It was harder to accept than the abuse I'd experienced in my younger years, when I was defenseless. I was more ashamed of the time in Urzikstan, and then Price because I was supposed to be capable then, I was supposed to be able to take care of myself but there was  nothing I could do to stop them.

I was still trying to accept that. Try to remind myself that I wasn't damaged because of it, but there was always that lingering thought that Simon would love me less because of it.

When I said his name his eyes snapped to mine and he moved closer when I stood, like he was waiting to hear his name from my lips forever.

I decided to use actions instead of words to ask my question, I'd be able to tell instantly by the way he reacted.

My hands slid up his chest before my arms snaked around his shoulders and neck to pull him down closer to me. His arms wrapped around me in response but I could feel him hesitate.

His eyes stayed on mine as we lingered there. I stepped closer, pressing my body against his and I felt him release a breath he'd been holding. He still loved me, he'd said it not too long ago, but I could tell something was different.

I pressed my lips to his, fingers entangled themselves into the back of his hair, while mine had gotten cut short his had grown out a good bit. He held me a little tighter then but when my lips parted for him he stiffened and pulled away.

I knew it. He knew.

I wasn't afraid of him, we'd gotten over that and it didn't matter that things had happened to me since. I trusted him, with all of me. He however, apparently didn't.

"Senna," He said quietly, soft, he could read me like a book. He knew I knew.

Sometimes it was both a blessing and a curse, this understanding we had for each other.

I let go of him and stepped back before turning away from him, ashamed. It wasn't his fault, I knew he didn't think any less of me, that instead he was afraid of hurting me, but I still felt it; like I was less, damaged.

"Senna." He said my name again, grabbing my wrist to pull me back to him, but I avoided his gaze, staring at his chest instead.

"He told you." I said, not a question.

"Yes." He answered anyway. "And I made him pay for it, as much as I could." He continued, his tone turning dangerous. He would have killed him if he could, I knew that. I would have killed him, should have.

"Did Price tell you, what else I remembered?" I asked, knowing I could trust Price to keep it secret but needing to ask anyways.

"No." Relief left me before the anxiety flooded in. If I wanted to move past this, if I wanted him to stop being afraid to touch me, I think I had to tell him anyway.

"More of the same." I answered without giving details. "More than one." I added, regretting it instantly as it made the images flood into my mind and the world spin.

I looked up at him, needing something to focus on and I could see his jaw was tense, trying to avoid my gaze so I wouldn't see his anger. There was nothing we could do about it now, and I think that made him even more angry.

"They died." I told him, hands gripping at his shirt as I pulled him close.

"You?" He asked.

"No. Price." I answered. I knew Price had murdered the lot of them after he got me out of there. I saw it on his face when he returned. He thought it wasn't enough, but it had been for me. Before Ghost, I don't think I'd ever trusted someone so much, was ever so thankful for someone.

"I'm not afraid of you." I told him, tugging on his shirt so he'd look at me.

"I'd never hurt you." Simon muttered even though I already knew that.

"Then please stop looking at me like that." I pleaded but I could tell he didn't know what I meant. "Like you'll break me."

He wanted to argue with me, probably say something like 'you can't be broken' but we both knew that was a lie, it had already happened a few times.

"You won't. Quite the opposite, really." As I spoke he leaned down to press his forehead to mine and I closed my eyes at the familiar touch.

"Okay." He breathed as he pulled off his gloves behind me before placing his hands on my hips.

"Okay." I echoed.

---notes
The real question is, do we want the smut in ghosts pov or Senna's? I don't think we've had a Ghost's pov smut yet. 🤔🤔