anti-hero, supernatural [ 2 ], DISCONTINUED

026. turducken

Bobby and Natalie walk into the old house that the group are going to squat in. Dean and Sam are already in there, Sam sitting at the table.

"Well, isn't this cozy?" Bobby remarks.

"Yeah. Well, Motel 6 just ain't leaving the light on anymore." Sam says as Briar climbs onto his lap.

"Well, I'm taking a page out of Frank Devereaux's Bible on this. Everybody's out to get you. Paranoia is just plain common sense." Bobby says.

"Weeks, guys. Weeks. We've been living with cold showers, cold Hot Pockets, cold fucking everything. I mean, this is the bottom that we're living in. You guys get that, right?" Dean asks.

"Oh, no, sorry, I-I zoned out all the other times you said it. Can you repeat that for the dreadful, nine millionth time?" Natalie asks while rubbing Justin's back as he sleeps. Dean rolls his eyes.

"How many big mouths are out there, running card traces, like Chet, or hunting us down God knows what ways? Now's not the time to be laying our bed rolls out on the grid. Not if we can help it." Bobby says.

Suddenly the lights go off.

"Great." Natalie sighs as Sam turns on a battery powered lamp.

"That's just great. This is stupid. Our quality of life is shit. We got Purgatory's least wanted everywhere, and we're on our third The World's Screwed issue in, what, three years? We've steered the bus away from the cliff twice already." Dean says.

"Someone's got to do it." Sam says.

"What if the bus wants to go over that cliff?" Dean asks.

"You think the world wants to end?"

"I think that if we didn't take its belt and all its pens away each year that, yeah, the whole enchilada would've offed itself already."

"Stop trying to wrestle with the big picture, son. You're gonna hurt your head." Bobby says.

Dean grabs a beer out of the cooler and lies down on the couch.

"So, what's the guff?" Bobby asks, sitting at the table with Sam.

"Well, uh, there've been a rash of sightings all over the southern pine barrens. A strange, fast moving, human like creature. Locals even have a name for it." Sam says, showing Bobby the information.

"The Jersey Devil? I thought that was just local tall tale crap." Bobby says.

"The area's story of sightings goes back more than two centuries. Some accounts gave it bat wings, others horns, a... a tail." Sam says. "And, uh, oh, yeah, a horse's head." He gives Bobby another printed page.

"Of course, the sketch looks more like a Chewbacca head." Dean says.

"Sounds kind of mixed up." Bobby says.

"Yeah, kind of like it should be fighting a Japanese robot." Dean says.

"Well, mixed up or not, it sounds like it might just have a body count." Sam says, giving Bobby a newspaper article.

""Camping high season harshed by human burrito"?" Bobby reads.

"Yeah. Something hung a camper up in a tree, then ate him alive right through his sleeping bag." Sam informs.

"Yeah, see, this is why I don't camp." Natalie says. "You camp, you die."

"Well, you can also die while sleeping in a motel room." Sam comments.

"Yeah, but at least you have four walls and a door for the person or thing to get through first." Natalie comments.

"Whatever." Sam drops the argument. "His wife hasn't been seen either. Plus, there have been four other missing persons reported in the last three weeks. State troopers, get this, are saying it's a rogue bear." Sam says.