heaven has gained an angel

Prologue

"Hindi naman ako 'yong klaseng angel na inaakala mo." - Ayara

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Prologue

After a moment of silence, Ayara broke it. "I have an idea." She then gave me a strange smile. She just had finished with her food, kaya naman nasa akin nakatutok ang buong atensyon niya ngayon.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Naisip ko lang. Gusto mo, pasyal ulit tayo? Out of town?"

I shrugged at what she said. "Na naman? We just went to the beach last time," I countered, saka ko isinubo ang panghuling kutsara ng pagkain.

"Dali na."

"Saan ba?"

Lumawak lalo ang kaniyang ngiti. "Let's visit Sagada! Are you game?" she said excitedly. "Please?" She then pouted.

My forehead creased. Imbes na sagutin siya, dinampot ko ang basong may lamang cucumber juice, stirred it gently, and leaned back. "Sagada?" I uttered as I sipped the juice.

"Oo."

I glanced at her. "Nagbibiro ka lang."

"I'm not even kidding," she whimpered.

"Malayo 'yon." Ibinalik ko sa lamesa ang baso nang maubos ang laman nito.

Itinuon niya ang magkabilang siko niya sa lamesa at ipinatong sa mga palad ang kaniyang mukha. "I want to go there. Super. Kailangan ko 'yon. And I want you to come with me." Her eyes were pleading.

"Not now, marami akong ginagawa. No, we're both busy. We have no time for that. Kasisimula lang ng second sem."

"Next month? Maybe? Puwede na?" pangungulit niya pa.

"Marami ka pang binabayaran, 'di ba? Priorities. Responsibilities. Bills. Sayang gastos diyan," I reasoned out, being honest.

Nahulog balikat niya. "Magtitipid tayo! Masama bang hilingin 'yong bagay na para naman sa sarili natin?"

I looked at her with a confusion in my eyes. Ilan segundo ko siya tinitigan. I don't literally get her point. "Kaka-unwind lang natin. Bakit ba parang bigla-bigla kang nagyayang gumala roon?"

"Well. Kasi . . ." Umiwas siya ng tingin at napaayos ng upo. "May napanood akong movie kanina, Sagada setting. It made me want to go there, to be peaceful and away from stress. We deal with stress every day, Prism. Plus, ang ganda pa ng sunrise. You know how much I love sky, especially sunrise. Sobrang refreshing." Bubuksan ko na sana bibig ko kaso nagputuloy siya and this time, bumaling muli siya sa akin. "Honestly, I just want to escape things here. Again. I'm tired. Sarap sumigaw. Sarap magreklamo sa bundok. Sarap umiyak. I want to release all this weight here," turo niya sa dibdib. "Nakalilimutan ko na kasing maging masaya ulit. Ang daming nangyari nitong mga nakaraan araw, patang-patong 'yong problema ko kaya gusto kong magsaya ulit. That's how it seems to me that's why. Nakalimutan ko na kasi sarili ko." Then, she bent down her head.

I absorbed her words and bit my lower lip, iniisip ko kung pagbibigyan ba siya. I released a deep breath. "Okay, last week of next month? Are we good? Pag-ipunan muna natin." Wala talaga ako magagawa kung mapilit siya.

Itinunghay niya ang tingin niya sa akin. She beamed. "Of course!" there was a hint of excitement with her voice. She sparkled with joy. I smiled back, even though I wasn't sure if agreeing was the right decision.

Hindi ko mahanap ang tamang oras para pasayahin ulit ang sarili. Nakapag-beach na kami. It's enough.

Niyaya na ako ni Ayara na umalis nang mag-8 PM na. May trabaho pa raw siya at bawal siyang ma-late. We had taken our things and leave.

"Punta ka ng work?" I asked as we stepped outside.

She nodded. "Oo, eh."

"Sure ka ayaw mo ihatid kita?"

Matindi siyang umiling. "I'm fine. You should go home now, I bet hinihintay ka na ni Tita. Kaya ko na," aniya.

"Alam naman niyang kasama kita. You sure?" I asked for a second time.

"Oo naman."

"Okay?"

She smiles. "See you tomorrow, then. Belated happy birthday."

Pinadulas ko mga kamay ko sa loob ng bulsa. "See you tomorrow." Akma na siyang tatalikod ngunit may naalala ako bigla. "Aren't we going to avoid each other? Back to normal na?"

She looked at me. "Parang ganoon na nga. Ang hirap mo rin kasing tiisin, nami-miss kitang kausap palagi," sabi niya na ikinangiti ko. "Kaya 'wag kang mala-late sa first class, ha."

I let out a little laugh. "Try me, paunahan na lang."

She crossed her arms. "You know how competitive I am. Sino bang palaging nahuhuli sa atin? You can't win against me. Never."

"As long as I can win your heart," I said indirectly, admitting my feelings for her.

She scoffed. "Sus. Sige na nga. I just can't be late. Mauna na ako. Bye." Akala niya siguro banat lang ulit 'yon. She waves her hand, and I did the same.

I watched her walked away. Nagulat ako nang lumingon pa siya sa akin at nag-iwan pa ng isang ngiti, pero mabilis kong nahuli ang paglungkot nito nang ibinalik ang tingin sa daan.

A sudden thought came into my mind. That confession, hindi ko talaga masasabi kung kailan ako aamin pero sabi ni Mama, dapat 'wag sayangin ang oras habang nandiyan pa ang pagkakataon.

Higit pa sa pagkakaibigan ang tingin ko kay Ayara. She gave meaning to my life. I just can't fully embrace it due to many reasons. Hanggang ngayon, wala pa rin akong ideya kung saan ang pinupuntahan niya tuwing gabi na ang sabi niya, trabaho raw niya. Despite how long we've been together, something feels incomplete.

If I'm being honest, mababaw pa rin ang pagkakakilala ko sa kaniya, pilit niyang itinatago sa akin ang buo at tunay niyang pagkatao. Yes, she shared her story about her family and her brother's condition. What I need is the whole story, but I also respect her. Gustong-gusto kong magtanong ngunit palagi niyang nakukutuban at iiwasan. She really good at concealing things.

Who are you really, Ayara?

Kaibigan mo naman ako at pinagkakatiwalaan, bakit hindi mo magawang sabihin sa akin ang lahat?

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