heaven has gained an angel

9. Safe Distance

Chapter 9: Safe Distance

Prism

Prism:
Where are you?

I wondered where she was at. Himala ng hulog ng langit dahil wala pa siya sa room noong pumasok na ako that's why I messaged her. I thought I won to our deal but when she replied, in turns out that she's still early than me.

Ayara:
Nandito ako likod ng building ng CEM, watching sunrise.

I remember she likes sunrise. It's her kind of remedy from everything. Hindi na ako nagdalawang isip upang pumunta sa kung nasaan siya.

Nang matanaw ko siya, I suddenly stopped pacing. Natigilan ako. There was a thought arise on my mind. Mariin ko siyang pinagmasdan mula sa malayo, abala siya sa paglalagay ng gamot sa paso niya, medyo natutuyo na rin ito at um-okay na base kung paano ko ito i-observe these past few days. This is what she usually do every morning, she applied the things she learned from me.

She replied to me last night, nasa trabaho na raw siya. I asked her how is she, she said she's fine. Sa tanong na iyon, hindi niya kayang umamin sa akin nang totoo. She lied to me. Alam ko naman na hindi siya okay, alam ko rin naman na dapat hindi ko na rin 'yon tinanong pa. Tinanong ko rin siya kung ano ginagawa niya, nagtratrabaho, ang sagot niya. I'm really concerned about her situation but I honestly don't know what the next step I will do.

The golden sunlight were throwing over her angelic face. The scene I saw yesterday kept replaying to my mind, kung gaano siya kainin ng takot habang tumatanggap ng sari-saring masasakit na sigaw mula sa lalaki. She was very vulnerable that I wasn't aware of. To survey her appearance, she may not look okay and hurt but I know when she smiles, she easily mask off her feelings. Her eyes speak the unspoken emotion. That's how she is. She rather hide her true feelings.

Ilang minuto pa ako nakatayo rito, hindi inaalis ang paningin sa kaniya. I know this might come as unplanned. I believe this is the best thing to do.

This is what we need to do.

I need to make a safe distance from her. We need to avoid each other's presence.

I was certain of it.

I was forced to walk back.

Hindi ko na siya tinawag. Napailing-iling ako ng ulo. Naglakad na ako palayo kahit mahirap para sa akin at hindi alam saan na pupunta ngayon. I had nowhere else to go. I had to fight this urge, gusto ko siyang lapitan, gusto ko siyang kumustahin, gusto ko siyang alagaan pero kapag ginawa ko 'yon, things would go complicated and I can't afford to deal them all. I attempt to foresee where it will lead us if we continue this. It's better to be careful.

Anong laban ko sa lalaking mukhang malaki ang estado sa buhay at may magarang kotse?

Wala.

Prism:
Sige, mala-late ako ng pasok.

Ayara:
Bakit? Akala ko nandito ka na?

Prism:
May ginagawa lang importante.

To avoid the possible conflict, this is least I can do in order to protect her. Wala rin naman akong maisip na iba pang paraan. I had no choice but this. Hindi ko man alam kung anong parte ng lalaking nakita ko kasama niya kahapon sa buhay niya, mas mabuting umiwas na lang ako para hindi na maulit iyon, para wala nang gulo. Lalo na't I heard it's all about me.

Tumambay muna ako sa library at nilibang ang sarili gamit ang phone. Mahaba pa ang oras. Saka lang ako pumasok ng room noong magsisimula na ang first period namin. I feel Ayara's gaze as I stepped in, following my direction. I sat on other vacant seat far from her. I'm aware of the clueless look appeared on her face why I didn't sit beside her.