heaven has gained an angel

36. What About Us

Chapter 36: What About Us

Prism

"Nakilala ko si Alfred noong panahon na lugmok na lugmok ako sa buhay ko," panimula ni Ayara. Kanina pa siya tahimik at ngayon lang nagkaroon ng lakas na loob magsalita. We were walking down the street going to her home. Her gaze fixed on the path ahead. "Problemado ako no'n, struggling to find the means to pay for Kevin's hospital bills. Ilang araw pa lang siyang nasa loob ng hospital, daan-daang libo na kailangan kong bayaran. I was alone in this. I had no one else to rely on but myself during that time. But Alfred came to help me, I won't deny it that he has been such a blessing. He's always there to lend a hand and make my life easier. He's a lifesaver. But behind that, I soon discovered that his intentions weren't as pure as they seemed. Sa una lang mabait, kaya niya rin palang gawing impyerno ang buhay ko. I was deceived. Kasalanan ko rin naman," mabibigat niyang mga pahayag.

Tuloy lang kami sa paglalakad habang magkahawak ang mga kamay. Taimtim ko siyang pinagmamasdan. Nagpatuloy siya sa kuwento niya, "I remember being extremely hungry as I wandered around desperately searching for a work. Kahit pag-inom ng tubig, naligtangan ko na. The sun also was just beating down on me. Hindi na nakayanan ng katawan ko, nakaramdam ako ng matinding hilo. Next thing I knew, I stumbled along the road and everything faded to black. When I regained my consciousness, I found myself in emergency room, and I saw Alfred there. He was patiently waiting for me to wake up. It was then, in that vulnerable moment, that our paths converged. Siya pala nagbuhat at nagdala sa sa akin sa hospital. Ang nasa isipan ko ng mga oras na 'yon, I felt like he was a heaven-sent blessing."

Ibinaling ko rin ang paningin ko sa harapan namin, watching our shadows shifted with our movements. "At first, he treated me well. He even makes me laugh. He's really funny. Nakuwento ko sa kaniya 'yong buhay ko. Then she offered me a job, malaki raw 'yong magiging sahod. Magiging dancer daw ako sa bar at siya ang magiging manager ko. I was hesitant, of course, sinong gugustuhin at kakayaning sumayaw nang labas lahat ng kaluluwa sa harap ng mga malilibog na tao sa bar? I asked him if there were any other options, doon lang daw ang mabilis kumita ng pera. No choice, I grabbed the opportunity eventually. Sayang din, eh. Naintindihan ko 'yong kalakaran sa loob ng bar. Iba't ibang istorya ang naririnig ko. Lahat sila, nagsakripisyo kagaya ko, pagsasayaw lang din ang naisip nilang paraan. Tama si Alfred, mabilis 'yong pagdating ng pera. After a month, I started to find my confidence. I learned how to dance sexy at the bar, something I never thought I could do. He's been there for me through it all, cheering me on every step of the way."

She took a deep breath. "Then, one day, he confessed his feelings for me. I admit I didn't feel the same way about him. I didn't have any feelings for him, unlike what I feel for you right now. Even though, I don't like him, I entertained the idea. I-sho-shoulder niya raw 'yong bills ni Kevin sa hospital. He's well-off kaya madali na lang para sa kaniya 'yon. Kaya lang, 'yong kikitain ko sa pagsasayaw sa bar, would end up in his hands and he'd just give me an allowance. Bawal naman akong umalis doon kasi paborito ako ng mga customer."

"Bakit ka pumayag sa ganoon?" I couldn't help but ask.

"That's exactly na pinagsisisihan ko ngayon. Ang tang* ko. Bakit nga ba ako pumayag? Ewan ko. Siguro kasi manager ko siya at nasilaw rin ako sa offer niyang cover niya ang bills ni Kevin. Back then, that was all that mattered to me. Then, we became a thing. I trusted him completely. His kindness drew me in, making me feel secured and loved. I thought I had found someone who truly cared for me. But as time went on, he's changed. Everything changed. Everything was manipulated. His words turned sharp, his touch heavy with aggression. Hindi ko na siya makilala. I felt trapped in a nightmare I never saw coming at all. Sinasaktan na niya ako. Binababoy na niya ako. Ginagawa na niya akong laruan. Ang katwiran niya ay pagmamay-ari niya raw kasi ako, that he could do whatever he wanted with me. Nakakatakot siya pero wala naman akong magawa. Kahit magreklamo ako sa pulis, kaya niyang ayusin 'yon sa pamamagitan ng pera, wala akong takas," nagsisimulang mabasag ang boses niya habang inaaalala ang mga malulungkot na bahagi ng pinagdaanan niya.