Spiderman's Sister

Do something that doesn't happen in this room

It's been almost a week since James was found. A week in which his condition has hardly changed. I was really hoping, precisely because he's a super soldier, that his body would have recovered in a day or two at most. But unfortunately that was not the case. Which only increases my desperation and makes me feel even worse. If I imagine that James had been a normal person........ he probably wouldn't have survived the whole thing. My physical condition is also getting worse every day. Except to go to the toilet for a moment - and even then I use the toilet here in the hospital room so as not to be too far away from him - I don't leave his side. I want to be here when he wakes up. That's one of the reasons I sleep poorly, if I sleep at all. My guilty conscience keeps me awake and the chair I'm sitting on isn't really comfortable to sleep in either. Also, I only eat because Peter makes sure I do. Every day he comes in on time for breakfast, lunch and dinner with two plates and keeps me company. Although I'm absolutely not hungry, I eat a little bit each time so as not to worry him. Peter was here again for breakfast today. He went to extra lengths and made chocolate chip pancakes for me. Peter rarely cooks - even though I've often shown him how to do it and often involved him - but today, just for me, he's overcome himself to do so. He's been gone for almost an hour and since then I've been sitting there holding James' hand and praying that he wakes up.

Sam: How are things in here?

I didn't even realize that someone came in. When Sam suddenly stands next to me, I'm almost startled, but I try not to let it show.

Victoria: Unchanged.

For a moment he just stands silently next to me and looks at James. Then he does something that makes me really angry at first. He pulls my hands away so James' hand slips out of mine and practically lifts me out of the chair.

Victoria: Sam? What the hell???

Sam: You have to get out of this room. You look like a zombie yourself now. And since none of the others dare to take you away from him, I'll just do it.

I'm about to say something when he puts me back on the floor and gives me a look that says he's not done yet.

Sam: I'm not saying you can't see him ever again. But at least take an hour or so where you do something that isn't in this room. I don't know what...... lie down, take a bath. Just something you do just for yourself. Bucky wouldn't want you to sit here all the time and ruin yourself.

He can't know. But still I think I know he's right. This whole thing is getting to me so much that I just burst into tears and let Sam pull me into his arms without protest. His t-shirt is completely soaked in seconds.

Victoria: But I don't want to leave him alone.

I bring out through heavy sobbing.

Sam: He won't be alone. I promise I'll stay here with him until you get back.

I wipe the tears from my face and turn back to James. What if something happens when I'm not there? But maybe Sam's right, and I just need an hour out of this room? I walk over to James and plant a kiss on his forehead.

Victoria: I'll be right back and you're not alone, Sam is here with you.

I whisper before turning to go.

Victoria: Thanks Sam.

I say as he sits down on my chair. He just gives me a friendly smile before pulling out his mobile phone. In front of the door I feel completely lost. What should I do now?