Spiderman's Sister

Reconciliation?!

When I wake up I feel like someone was in the room. Usually, at the end of a night, I'm barely covered by my duvet. But now I'm tucked in. And somehow, I can't explain it, I can just feel that someone was here with me. Maybe it was James. But then why didn't he wake me up? After all, he too will need to talk after our argument earlier. Maybe it's just my imagination and there was no one here. But now that I've had some sleep, I really have to see James. I really long for him. Although my love for him is still unconditional, I have barely been able to stand his presence in the last few days. Unlike before, I really want to see him now. Still a little sleepy, I make my way to our room. Hopefully he'll be back by now. I slowly open the door and feel my heart beating faster as I see him sitting at his desk.

Victoria: Hey......

Bucky: Hey......

He looks up from his computer. He looks somehow sad and relieved at the same time.

Victoria: I... um... I...

I know exactly what I want to say to him. That I love him and I'm sorry for how I've treated him in the last few days. Still, all I can manage is a stutter. James seems to notice how difficult it is for me to say what I want to say. He slides away from his desk and stretches out his arms - a sign for me to sit on his lap if I want. There's nothing I'd rather do at the moment. I snuggle up on his lap and when he wraps his arms around me, for the first time in a long time I have the feeling that maybe everything could be okay in the end. And yet I'm still not close enough to him. I turn to him on his lap and kiss him. The kiss has nothing erotic or wicked about it, it is tender and full of all the love that I haven't been able to show recently.

Bucky: Did you sleep well?

Victoria: Then you were actually in Peter's room. And I thought I had just imagined it.

Bucky: Yeah, I... I came home and wanted to talk to you. But when I saw that you were finally sleeping, I just couldn't wake you up.

Victoria: Thank you, I guess I really needed the sleep.

Bucky: And how do you feel now?

Victoria: Physically much better.

Bucky: I'm glad to hear that.

In fact, I feel less defeated now. Mentally I still feel like I'm going crazy because of the situation, but physically the sleep was so good for me that I'm even hungry again. Which becomes noticeable when my stomach growls loudly.

Bucky: Was that what I think it was?

Victoria: I guess. I'm hungry.

Bucky: Then we should get you something to eat as quickly as possible, or what do you say?

I nod and the next moment James has lifted me off his lap and is about to grab his wallet and keys. Does he want to go outside to get something to eat? No, I can't do that yet. Eating something is one thing, pulling myself together in front of everyone is quite another.

Victoria: James, can't we just stay here and order some food?

He immediately stops moving, comes to me and wraps me in his arms.

Bucky: Whatever you want, Doll.

We order something to eat using an ordering app on James' cell phone. As soon as the order is placed, a heavy silence suddenly hangs between us again. Ok, now or never.

Bucky/Victoria: I.....

We both pause and wait for the other to speak first.

Bucky: You speak first.

He lets me go first and I take a deep breath before I start.

Victoria: I wanted to apologize for my behavior over the last few days and explain why I behaved the way I did.

Bucky: Okay.

He sits down on our bed and looks at me expectantly.

Victoria: I know it's no excuse for giving you so much to worry about lately, but I just felt like you didn't understand me. As if you don't take me and my fear for Peter seriously. You know, I've always been someone whose emotions affect how she sleeps and eats. And because you always brought me something to eat without being asked, I just felt pressured.

Bucky: I didn't know that. If I had known that, I wouldn't have done that. I thought I would make you happy with this.

Victoria: How were you supposed to know? I didn't tell you.

James reaches out his hand to me and I snuggle back into his lap.

Victoria: The whole thing with Peter is just driving me so crazy that I can't think straight.

Bucky: Promise me something.

He looks at me expectantly and I nod.

Bucky: Please tell me about everything that's bothering you in the future. I never want to argue with you about something like that again.

Victoria: I'll try.

Even though we've been together for a while now, I'm still not quite used to not having to be alone with my burdens anymore.

Bucky: I'm not asking for more.

Victoria: Okay. Now that I've said mine, what did you want to say?

Bucky: I wanted to apologize to you too. For unknowingly pressuring you all this time. I'm just really afraid of what this will do to you, what it will do to us. I'm so scared of losing you.

Victoria: Never. Even though I haven't shown it to you lately, I love and need you.

Bucky: I love and need you too.

Victoria: Can we just promise each other that we will always be completely honest with each other in the future? Especially when it comes to feelings and emotional things?

Bucky: I promise, Doll.

Victoria: I promise too. Can I get another kiss now?

Bucky: As many as you want.

How could I push this man away for even a moment? Without him by my side, I would have definitely lost my mind long ago. After we have spoken we cuddle up in bed and turn on the TV. Even though I haven't admitted it to myself in the last few days, I missed being so close to him so much.

Jarvis: Ms. Parker? Mr. Barnes? Your food has just been delivered.

Bucky: Thanks Jarvis.

He gives me a peck on the lips before getting up.

Bucky: I'll be right back.

A few minutes later he comes back with our food. I kind of wanted everything. Which is why I also ordered a large portion of fruit salad to go with the greasy garlic cheese crust pizza with pepperoni salami.

Victoria: It's hard to believe I'm saying this, but I'm starving.

Bucky: Then dig in. Oh, I have something else for you.

He takes a small box out of the bag that contained our food and holds it out to me. In the box are churros - crispy warm churros.

Victoria: You ordered churros for me?

Bucky: Yes, you like them so much.

Victoria: Thank you baby.

Bucky: You're very welcome Vicky. Now let's eat, I'm really hungry too.

We eat together and watch TV. It's almost as if the last few days had just been a nightmare. But the lingering nagging feeling in my stomach that I've had since Peter disappeared lets me know that unfortunately this is the reality. But unlike before, James and I are reunited and are working together to find Peter. At some point during the evening I fall asleep in his arms - something that I recently denied myself for stupid reasons, but that I never want to be without again.