Spiderman's Sister

James?!?!

When I wake up I don't know what's going on at first. I'm startled awake as James squirms beside me and makes pained noises. I turn on the bedside lamp and freeze for a moment. James is curled up in bed. He has his face pressed into the pillow to stifle his pained screams, which doesn't really work. His hands press against his stomach as if trying to somehow control the pain. Oh no, oh no, oh no. I knew fate would punish me for becoming weak and giving in to my needs.

Victoria: James? Baby? What's happening?

I lean over him and don't know what to do. I try to roll him onto his back, which only makes him flinch and seems to only add to his pain. Fuck!

Bucky: I...... I don't know...... aaaahhhhhh........ fuck........

As much as I don't like that thought - because it's going to raise a lot of awkward questions - there's only one thing I can do now. Bruce! As if remotely controlled, I run out of our room to Bruce's room. But to my surprise, he's not here. Where the hell is he? It's the middle of the night, after all. I can't do much searching, I have no idea what exactly is wrong with James, but I can't waste any time.

Victoria: Jarvis? Where's Bruce?

Jarvis: Mr. Banner is in his lab.

Victoria: Thank you.

From here, the stairwell is closer than the elevator, so I run there, up the stairs, and burst into Bruce's lab without knocking. He looks at me confused and concerned.

Bruce: Vicky? Why are you still awake? Is everything ok?

No, nothing is okay.

Victoria: I...... Bucky...... he........

My mind is racing and I can't get a complete sentence out. Pull yourself together Vicky! Your boyfriend might be dying in your room right now and you're stammering. Luckily, Bruce seems to understand me that way too. Without waiting for me, he runs past me. It takes a moment until my body finally listens to my brain's command and starts moving. I'm just re-entering the stairwell door into the bedroom hallway when Thor and Steve walk past me, James on some kind of makeshift stretcher. James is still writhing in pain. Bruce follows them. He just looks at me - he looks just as disappointed as I feared - and follows the two of them. They'll probably take him to the infirmary.

Wanda: What the hell is going on here?

Wanda comes towards me from her room. What's going on here? Because I wasn't steadfast enough, my boyfriend is on his way back to the infirmary and... I have no idea what's happening to him right now. When Wanda continues to look at me questioningly, I can't take it anymore. I break down crying in front of her and let myself be pulled into her arms without resistance. Only after a few minutes does the whole realization hit me. I need to see James, need to know that he's not going to die just because we were horny. I wriggle out of Wanda's arms and run back up the stairs to the infirmary. The wing here is huge, almost like a real hospital. I see Steve in the hallway and run to him.

Victoria: Where is he?

Steve: In the OR.

Victoria: OR?

Steve: Yes. Bruce was really worried about his condition.

I slump against the wall, crying, and sink to the floor. I can't even look as fast as Steve sits next to me and pulls me into his arms.

Victoria: It's all my fault.

Steve: That's nonsense. We all know that Bucky didn't exactly make it easy for you.

Victoria: Still. I should have known better. Now maybe he's dying because I couldn't control myself.

Steve doesn't seem to have much to say about that either. What should he say? Of course it's my fault. Eventually Thor comes out of one of the rooms and sits down with us on the floor.

Thor: The OR nurse says it could take a few more hours until the surgery is over.

Oh god, the night is getting worse by the second.

Steve: Then there's nothing we can do here for now. I think we should all go back to our rooms and rest until Bruce has news for us.

As if I would just leave without knowing how James is doing.

Victoria: You go, I'll stay here.

Steve: You're coming with us. You're not going to sit here alone and blame yourself for him being in there now.

Victoria: But......

Steve: No buts. There's just as little you can do here as we can. And you should definitely try to sleep.

Sure, like I could sleep now. Still, I don't protest and let Thor pull me to my feet. Ultimately, Steve is right. The two escort me back to my room. Wanda is still standing in the hallway, apparently still waiting for someone to tell her what's going on here.

Wanda: Vicky? Guys? What's wrong?

Victoria: Bucky...... he......

His pained face appears before my eyes and I start crying again. She pushes past Steve and Thor and hugs me. She rubs my back soothingly.

Wanda: Hey...... sssshhhhh...... everything will be fine.

Somehow she seems to have made it clear to the boys that they are no longer needed here. Both give me a quick hug before they go to their rooms. She pushes me into Bucky's and my room and puts me on the bed. She sits next to me and holds me in her arms the whole time. God, am I grateful right now that she's here and that I don't have to be alone.

Wanda: Now will you tell me what happened?

Victoria: It's all my fault. I... I should have just slept in my room.

Is all I can get out before desperation takes hold of me again and I'm racked with sobs. I really hope James doesn't die, I wouldn't survive that.