Fourtris Now and Forever: Divergent No War

c h a p t e r 3 6

Attached is an edit of a quote in this chapter by your's truly :) plz follow my instagram: @factionsystem

And sorry that it took so long to update but here is the chapter>>

"Come on, let's go Four," I say getting up. He stands beside me and has his hand on my shoulder protectively as Peter approaches us. He has a slight black eye, but other then that, he looks untouched.

"Wow, I'm sorry. Did I ruin a special moment?"

I don't answer and turn my back on Peter and address Tobias. "Let's go."

"Hey, Stiff! I'm talking to you. Are you deaf or something?!" His hand lands on my shoulder aggressively and attempts to turn me around.

"Hey!" Tobias says, pulling me back and standing slightly in front of me.

"Now I see why she won in Initiation. I guess if you sleep with your instructor you get benefits. I should've known because if she hadn't slept with you then she would be factionless. She's got nothing to her- she's just an incapable baby. she's so weak that she can't even stand up for herself. She's lucky she has you," Peter says his voice flat.

Tobias sets his jaw and his hands clench in a ball so hard that the veins pop out. He's trying to control himself and I don't blame him. I am as well.

Peter's eyes examine me and he finally says, "I don't understand what you see in her though. She's like a 12-year-old with a big ego."

Tobias goes to lunge at him but I grasp his hand, pulling him backward slightly.

"Woah, there! All I'm trying to do is have a nice conversation. Why would you be mad?" The sarcasm that lines his voice only adds on to my temper.

Tobias's voice gets really low and dangerous. "Get out. And if I you ever get near her again... they might just find your body at the bottom of the chasm."

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The sound of my fists hitting the rough fabric of the punching bag is the only audible sound in the training room. It's after midnight and the room is almost pitch black. I can see a few feet in front of me, enough to locate the punching bag and connect my fists. I came to the training room due to my unfortunate lack of sleep.

She's got nothing to her. Peter's words repeat in my mind. She's just an incapable baby. His words fuel my energy. The thuds against the punching bag continually get faster and louder, each impact probably causing the sides of my hands to bruise.

My face contorts and with each impact, more tears form in my eyes. Not because of the bruises gathering along the edge of my fists as I brutally attack the punching bag- I relish that pain in this moment. I guess this is why they say words are more hurtful than wounds. In a way, they are both forms of pain, but words are able to wrap around you and suffocate you. They torment and harass you even when they are supposed to be fixed. Wounds sting but go away.

I came into this silent and dark place that was desolate so that I would be able to escape from my thoughts and internal struggle and pain. But little did I know that they are impossible to elude.

Pain is louder in the silence.

I don't understand what you see in her though. She's like a 12-year-old with a big ego. He's right. I'm not good enough for Tobias. He deserves more. I can't give him what he wants. He's better than me- more desirable. I'm short, and thin, and bare-chested.

I got in to Dauntless because he liked me, which is probably a lie. Still is a lie. He would never love me. He can't. It's impossible, even though sometimes I think we both have mutual feeling that go without saying. Must be because he feels pity on me. Or that he owes me something because I was from Abnegation.

I sink down to the floor and continue pondering. All those days and nights with Tobias. Being cuddled in his arms or holding hands with him . . . are they real?

Even the memories seem blurry, just like my vision due to the tears falling from my face.

But even as I realize all that I can't offer to him right now, I remember him smiling down at me, his warm hugs, the soft kisses.

The tears stop, but are still dry and puffy. I'm no longer mad at Tobias. Peter is my problem now. My relationship with Tobias is okay. I close my eyes and look downward. Trapped in my own thoughts, I didn't even comprehend the sound of the door opening until he talked.

"Oh my gosh, thank god," he says, relieved he found me. He jogs over but I don't move. If anything I bury my head further into my chest. "What? Tris. Oh my god. Tris what's wrong? What happened?"

I don't speak. Even though I thought I conquered the tears earlier, they come back and soon, I'm sobbing silently, my body shaking several times for each exhale.

He gets on his knees and hugs me. I adjust my head and now it's buried in his chest, wetting his shirt. His hands run through my hair.

"Tris, tell me what's wrong. Please tell me I need to know, Tris."

I shake my head. I don't want him to know how weak and vulnerable I am right now.

"Tris, please," he says. His voice sounds strangled, almost as if he's about to cry. "Please tell me."

"I was . . ." I start, but take a large breath as I continue to cry. "I um . . . I came here to let of the steam . . . I couldn't sleep. . . And um . . . . I just started thinking about what he said and . . ."

"Tris," he whispers. "Don't listen to a word that asshole says." I nod slightly. "I mean it. You're the most strong and brave person I know. Don't let him make you think otherwise. You're here in Dauntless because you belong and I honestly don't know what I would do if you weren't here. You're smart and selfless and so very brave. You're so beautiful and Tris I-"

I cut him off with a soft kiss on the lips. I don't even think about what he was about to tell me. Our lips meet for a silent second before he slowly pulls away.

He looks at me and stares me in the face. My race is red and my eyes feel blotchy.

"Do I look like I was crying?" I ask, trying to wipe away my tears with the cloth on my shirt.

He nods slightly, "but you look tough as nails." A smile etches its way across my face as I remember when he told me that during initiation.just two more months until Caleb comes to Dauntless. Two more months until I've known Tobias for a year.

In a quiet moment like this, the silence urges me to tell him I love him. But it's not time. Soon I will tell him, I think. Soon.

"Do you want me to carry you back, Tris? It's one in the morning."

I nod slightly and as his strong arms hold me against his chest. "Thanks," I whisper into his shirt. My eyes slowly droop and close.

A few minutes later, he places me in the bed and crawls in beside me. He softly kisses my forehead and lays right beside me. His hands hold my back to his chest and his arms rest on my stomach.

"Thank you, Tobias," is the last thing I whisper. What happened to it, I don't know. It's probably lost in the darkness anyway, resting among all the other things that strayed from my mind.

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