Let it Rain | Olivine | Book2 | WLW

Chapter 14 "its Only a Kiss"

Madison looked like the universe has given me signs...

I wanted to say these things deeply for the past months... I started to live with the pain. Funny though that the only thing that you left in me was also the memory of loving you.

Since then, every day I started to feel nothing Madison except the pain. My soul is empty, and my eyes forgot how to cry, recognizing what it is now. Some parts of me are dead, like you brought to the grave.

I tried to find myself; I tried to connect myself and to be whole again. I'm in the process of grieving; those memories you left seemed like a leaf; each of those kept falling and fading. I felt so numb I could not feel anything. My existence is like a bag full of air.

Those gaps inside, I tried to fill them by placing masked tapes and glue to connect them and finished them with paint as if sealed-looking nothing happened.

Then there's Katarina; every time she looked at me, those eyes came weary towards me. I can't help it, but I need to hide my pain in front of her. I don't like people to feel pity on me; I'd suppress my emotions if I needed to.

I don't want to create burdens for everyone or see myself broken, which I'm not. I don't want people around me to see me that way, especially those two women that I am working with. I don't like to receive love because of that reason. I wanted to open my heart as a whole to offer, not by being as broken as they perceived. I am not looking for somebody to fix and make me whole again because that's so unfair; it's not their job but mine.

* * *

"Hello," Katarina said, listening to the voice on her phone.

Taking a glimpse of Olivine fiddling with the pen sitting on the couch on the balcony, staring blankly into the air.

"Yes, hi... miss Ofelia..." Katarina walked far, paying attention to her phone, attempting not to distract herself.

"Where is she...?" Ofelia's voice in the other line displayed impatience.

"Olive, she didn't answer her goddamn phone. Is she still alive?" she added.

"She's on the balcony at the moment, miss," Katarina replied.

"Oh...? I forgot to mention; don't talk to her when you are both eating unless I am there," Ofelia said.

"Okay, I'll take note of that, ma'am," she paused.

Katarina can't help but chuckle at her boss, who sounded like a mother debriefing the kids. Katarina fully understood why Olivine didn't talk last night while they were eating. She felt the awkward situations received mixed signals.

"Hello, Katarina, are you still there?"

"Ah, yes. Yes, I understand, Miss Ofelia."
said, assuring her boss, but her eyes didn't take away from Olivine.

* * *

Her cold gray eyes occasionally look down at my soul; I felt like stripping. I had goosebumps when I encountered that manner of hers. Every time she's near, I don't look straight or directly into her eyes; I just pretend or avoid her gaze. I knew she had a wife once, but why I felt like this, I cannot pinpoint what it is...

Those gazes—those stares—I think it means something, but she can't speak to me. I receive mixed signals from them, but all I wanted was for her to be my friend—at least, I could offer on this trip. Seeing my laptop looking at the time and schedules for the event. Questioning why I felt excited thinking of spending time and a few more days with her.

"Katarina, "

"Oh, uh? Hi, what is it? Do you like something...?" she said instantly, where she sat, Olivine calling her attention.