Let it Rain | Olivine | Book2 | WLW

Chapter 40 "place to stay"

 

Two weeks have passed since Katarina survived the rage of her husband's jealousy behavior. Olivine stood by the hospital window, crossing arms on her chest, looking outside, watching those cars passing by, thinking. 

Her twin sister is not around; her mother, Felicia, arrived early this morning, but she leaves after two hours of staying. Checking her condition, Olivine had a chance to ask her permission to be there until the time she will be discharged.

Felicia had no choice but to trust Olivine since she helped save her daughter from the death that created her husband. Standing there contemplating what Katarina's plans and decisions are next. Where she wanted to stay and heal completely. Watching Katarina still in her hospital bed, eyes close resting. Olivine decided to go downstairs and check the documents and hospital bills to be cleared out before the time leaving the hospital.

Observing around hospital women and men staff making those glances, which Olivine is being used to. She ignored their behaviors and continued signing those papers and what had needed to be done. Watching those nurses who assisted her, she blushed, and it seemed she couldn't help herself not to. She has no interest in other women since the day she saw Katarina. And Olivine can't even explain those feelings she felt for her. She prefers to watch her all day than lose her entirely. 

Katarina's mother, Felicia, informed us that she would be discharged today at noontime, asking Olivine to accompany her daughter while she's with her grandkids. Felicia will attend to the kids at school since there are school affairs and celebration activities being held showing support to her grandkids.

A series of thoughts passed. Olivine stood there wearing black silk long sleeves paired with trousers. Arms folded and stood there near by the window; it lasted ten minutes after Felicia left the room.

Patiently waiting for the time for her to be finally discharged at noon. It's not good to stay long, and the atmosphere has started to be more suffocating. Olivine asked to have a wheelchair on standby, and she asked for assistance from the hospital staff at the said time. Olivine set things up for them to easily navigate later since they don't have her family on her side. 

The bored started creeping in; she takes a few steps on Katarina's bedside, watching her. She seemed more relaxed compared to a couple of days ago. Folding her arms still, she stood there, watching and observing in her subtle ways. Stopping herself not to hold her hand, sticking her beliefs not to come closer to her.

Olivine keeps holding herself when she's around with Katarina, especially if no one is around. She even couldn't handle when this woman stared at her for more than a minute about her existence.

She will start to stutter or even start her nerve shaking. Instead of having an idea from admiring Katarina from afar. Resisting the strong pull towards her, those emotions are very hard to define.

The idea of surrending those emotions could help, but she ended up hating herself. Afraid she might take away again from her, just like everyone else. No one is to blame for how she felt; even Katarina understands that soft side of Olivine's and holds space for that very vulnerable side of her. 

The only time she can sleep is when she's on Katarina's chest at the time; she got hit by the stray bullet on that event. Olivine never felt that feeling of security for a very long time. That sense of familiarity she craved for, but she tried to keep it as a memory rather than lose that part of her again.

Olivine starts practicing more firm and strong boundaries, even though it hurts her deep inside. She even may prefer dealing with another kind of pain than losing a person again. She can't buy and spare death despite Ferguson's wealth.