YEARS APART

What Am I to You ?

Chapter One

Ed Greenwood once said : " Each secret you carry has a weight all its own. They add up, secrets, to a burden you must carry all your days ".

That was my curse. I carried secrets, and never knew that enough is enough.

The Second born into the family, born to parents who led a prestigious family and build their own system of perfection. For our family, the kids are supposed to carry on the legacy and continue writing the glory in each generations. Mainly, it was our duty, me and my brother. The sole difference is, I was never a part of that glory. That system created by my family and I had one thing in common : We were never enough, and that was a big flaw.

My parent's pride, honor, love and laurels all had one name : Charles Bang.

An older brother that exceled in everything with no exception, he truly was the perfect son. Learning how to adapt to that life while living in my brother's shadow, I sometimes dreamt of my prime time, when I'll shine just as brightly as my brother, and finally get what I deserve. At last, They will finally notice me and acknowledge all my efforts ! yet, nothing changed.

Why should they be impressed when someone else did it before me. That's why I woke up one day and decided to live differently. I'll no longer try to race with him. What's the point of trying when Charles had already done it ?

I'll live on my own termes, from now on.

Chapter two

Despite all the differentiation I faced, Charles was always beside me. Like a light that shined in a dark room, a light breeze that filled my lungs with fresh air, a warm hug in cold winter nights, like a brother that loved his sibling unconditionally.

Charles was my light.

The person who greeted me warmly every morning start, who genuinely felt happy for me whenever i accomplished something. The one I shared my joy and tears with, and everything with. He was my everything. And everything was fine, until that day.

" All your efforts will pay off, just trust the process ! "

Charles, That was what you made me believe for years. However, my efforts never paid off. I was satisfied with being the second in everything. For me, as long as you were guiding the way, I was ready to trust the process. But you left midway. Who's going to lead me now ?

That day... How come you left everything behind, including me and never looked back again ?

That made me wonder, what Am I to you ?

Chapter three

Nine years... Nine long years of living and trying to fill in the gap you left. Not gonna lie, it was like throwing water in the sea.

Despite doing my best, I Chan, never made it to become someone like you. And I know for a fact that you'll never be replaced in our parents eyes. Not by me anyways...

Now that I've admitted the truth and swallowed it, will everything bitter get finally sweet ? seeing how everyone is off to lead their own lives I often wonder... Do I deserve another chance ?

...

Opportunity often comes disguised in the form of misfortune, or temporary defeat that takes away everything with it. People, memories, feelings and promises. When misfortune hits, it starts your own story. That's how stories happen, right ? with a turning point, an unexpected twist. There's only one kind of happiness, but misfortune comes in all shapes and sizes, and You may lose what made you feel like Home. However, what we lose never gets back, unless we're lucky enough for it to return.