November Dreams (M.C.)

Chapter Eighteen (Michael's POV)

"Michael?"

I thought I was going to pass out when her voice came over the phone.

Her voice.

I had to steady myself on the counter; if I hadn't, I would've fallen over.

"November," I breathed as tears welled up in my eyes.

There was a long pause on the other end as we both breathed shallowly into the phone, waiting for the other to say something. Truthfully, I think we were both at a loss for words. I didn't know how to react to this and if I knew her the way I thought I still did, then she would be at a loss too.

"I...I need to talk to you. Can we...meet?"

I stomach immediately got butterflies and then proceeded to twist itself into a knotted mess, still fluttering a bit from the sound of her voice in my ear.

"Yeah...o-of course..." I stuttered.

She quickly told me where and when to meet her and hung up, just like that. When the phone clicked off, I was still reeling a bit.

This had happened. This had actually happened. It wasn't a dream and it wasn't a trick.

It was really her.

I quickly ran to my room to get ready, excitement hitting me like a train. I couldn't help but run around with a giant smile on my face. This was it. I was going to get her back. After all this time and this hurt and sorrow, I was finally going to call her mine again.

And I couldn't wait.

I rushed over to the door, but as I was about to turn the handle and make a break for the car, Luke stopped me where I stood.

"Where are you off to in such a hurry, Mike?"

He asked, his mouth full as he chewed his piece of pizza he held in his hand.

Nice choice of breakfast, Luke. Although, I had been guilty of sneaking a piece of pizza before 6am before, so I had no room to judge his nutritional choices. I turned around to face him, unable to control my excitement.

"I'm going to see her Luke. She...she called me and...and wants me to meet her."

His face suddenly turned into a frown as he swallowed his mouthful of pizza.

"Michael, I don't think that's such a good idea..." he eyed me as I slowly took my hand off the doorknob. The smile faded from my lips and my eyebrows knitted together, confused as to why he wasn't as excited as I was.

"What do you mean? What—"

"Mike, you really hurt her. I don't think she deserves to go through that again." He scratched at the back of his neck nervously as he made his way over to the couch, motioning for me to follow him.

"I don't think you should go, Mike. It's not a good idea, it really isn't," he stared at me intently.

"I'm not going to hurt her again, Luke. Trust me, I learned my lesson—"

"Did you, though? What if you do hurt her again, Michael? What do you think she'll do? How do you think she'll react when you break her heart all over again?"

At his point I was fuming. I shot up from the couch, my eyes locked with his and my fists clenched.

"I don't have to listen to this shit. I miss her, Luke. So fucking much. So don't you sit her and tell me I shouldn't go see her. Because I need her."

I rushed over to the door, taking unnecessarily big strides, leaving Luke staring at me on the couch.

"This isn't a good idea Michael!" He shouted after me.

"Oh why don't you just fuck off already!" I yelled back to him, closing the door behind me.

//

The drive to our meeting place felt much longer than it was. I tried to concentrate on the road, but my mind was running wild. Luke's voice kept replaying in my head. His words played like a broken record, over an over and over again, pleading with me not to do this.

But he was wrong. This was long overdue; I needed her and obviously she needed me. Didn't she? I couldn't ignore this anymore; now that this was happening, I couldn't turn back and spend another day without her.

As I pulled into the Starbucks parking lot, my stomach knotted up again at the mere thought that she was this close to me.

But I still couldn't get Luke's words out of my head.

No matter how hard I tried.

I was so scared of hurting her again. The incident played through my mind as I sat, peering inside of the coffee shop, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. What if I did hurt her again? I couldn't bear the thought of watching her break in front of me all over again. And I couldn't bear the thought of knowing that it would be my fault.

All over again.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and scrolled over to her number. My fingers hovered over to the keys as I tried to find the courage to do what I was about to do.

I clicked her number, my eyes becoming cloudy as I brought my hand to my forehead and leaned against the window, listening to the soft ringing in my ear.

When she picked up, my breath hitched in my throat.

"Michael? Where are you?" I heard the concern in her voice.

I paused as the tears threatened to spill over.

"I...I can't do this, November. This isn't a good idea. I'm sorry...I...I'm sorry..."

Through my tears I could see her emerge from the coffee shop, looking around frantically. She looked like she was crying too. And it was my fault.

"Michael, don't do this please...just...please let's just talk..."

"I can't. I'm sorry..." I sobbed into the phone as I backed out of my parking spot, trying so hard not to look at her as I began to pull away.

"Michael, stop!" I heard her cry outside the car.

I couldn't help it; I turned back to look at her as she chased behind my car, desperate to catch up to me. She was sobbing, her arm outstretched as she called out to me again.

"Michael I need you!"

I pulled out of the parking lot and back onto the street, watching her get further and further away in my rear view mirror.

As I watched her fall to the ground and bury her head in her hands, I realized what I had just done. I had done what I was scared of all along; what Luke had warned me of.

I hurt her.

All over again.