November Dreams (M.C.)

Chapter Thirty-One

I flew out of bed for what felt like the first time in forever. I breathed heavily, my eyes adjusting to the darkness. I stumbled out of bed and to the fridge, careful not to trip over my own feet. The light blinded me as I reached for a beer. Beer at 2 a.m.; solid, November.

I went and slumped onto the couch in front of the TV, staring at it blankly for a moment before turning it on. I stared at the picture, not paying much attention to what was going on as I took another long swig from my beer.

It was odd, waking up tonight. I hadn't jolted out of bed so early since my incident a few months ago. I didn't think I ever would again. But tonight was different; tonight I felt different. The atmosphere was tense, but calming. The darkness was welcoming to me when I awoke. And the weirdest part of all was that I thought I felt him; I felt him clutch me in the void, I felt the familiar print of his fingers caress my damp skin in my sleep. It was like he was there in the room with me, beside me. Where he belonged but I knew he couldn't be, as much as I longed for that part of my life again. I longed for him, and I wasn't sure how much longer I would be able to stay away. I felt him calling for me; I felt it in my aching, tired bones.

I wondered where he was, if he was close and what he was thinking about. I wondered about him often, but I kept that to myself. I felt bad knowing that he thought I was gone, but then again he hadn't seemed to care all that much. But that didn't mean I could stop caring about him. I would never stop caring, even when he had no more love left to give.

//

I awoke in the morning with a subtle headache and the TV still blaring at me, causing my head to thump a little harder. As if that wasn't enough, Czara let herself in only a moment after I awoke; we were a little too close, I think.

"Morning!" She beamed, shaking two bags in her hands. "I brought bagels!"

"Why are you so happy today?"

She shot me a look as if she had been found out. But I think I knew why she was so happy; there was only one thing that made her smile like that.

"Luke's in town, isn't he?"

She gave me worried eyes before sighing and plopping onto the couch next to me.

"November—"

"I'm not going to look for him, Czara. I've realized its over, trust me," I lied, but I knew that was what she wanted to hear.

She hopped up as I followed her to the kitchen table where she passed me an everything bagel and some cream cheese.

As we stuffed our faces, her phone kept buzzing next to her. I nodded in her direction, my mouth still a bit full.

"Are you seeing him while he's here?"

She nodded, her face red and a smile plastered to her lips as she chewed her bagel.

"They have a show tonight down in San Diego; I'm meeting him there for rehearsals."

She checked her phone quickly before jumping out of her seat and gathering her things in a hurry. She threw the rest of the bagels into the bag and ran to the door.

"Sorry, I'm late! I'll talk to you later!" She waved, her arms flailing in excitement like they usually did; used-car-lot-balloon-person.

"I didn't finish my bagel!" But she didn't hear me; she had already buzzed through the door and off to see her Luke.

But it didn't matter. I had the information I needed, and I knew what to do.

I wasn't sure how he would react, or if he would be glad, but he needed to know the truth.

It was long overdue.