November Dreams (M.C.)

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Czara surprised me today; she bust though the door at the crack of dawn, leaving me stunned on the couch in my cowboy pajamas. She looked tired. Her eyes were worn down and bloodshot, as if she had been crying. I decided not to ask her about it. After all, I was just glad to have her back. God knows I needed someone to settle the silence I had been drowning in for the past I-don't-know-how-long.

She plopped down on the couch and looked at me for a moment, neither of us speaking. It took a while for the silence to grow a bit uncomfortable, easing us into finally breaking the quiet atmosphere.

"I missed you," we chimed, almost completely in unison. We both smiled and crawled across the couch, finally meeting in a long-overdue hug.

"How was your trip?" I finally asked. "Where'd you go?" Truthfully, I was both anxious and dreading the answer to that. It already felt like she was avoiding me.

"Oh, it was, um...it was good..." she hesitated, causing me to tense up a bit.

"Where'd you go?" I asked again.

"Um...Japan...actually—"

"Japan?! Why did you go to Japan?"

She looked at me, eyes wide and mouth agape as if she were struggling to find the appropriate answer to assuage me.

"Not just Japan...I went all over Europe and the U.K. too..."

"How did I not know about this trip?"

"Well...my parents kind of just sprung it on me...early birthday present I suppose..." she scratched her head briefly out of nervousness. There was something she wasn't telling me, but honestly I couldn't stand to worry myself any more than I already had.

"Whatever. Well I'm glad you had fun, Cesar."

I reached for the remote and turned on the massive television that was perched on the wall across from us. I had been watching the news lately; knowing that other places and people were all experiencing the day a different way than I was was somewhat comforting.

Czara looked at me oddly as I scrolled through the channels before finally settling on my local news channel.

"Since when do you watch TV?" She marveled.

"Since now I have nothing better to do," I sassed back.

My attention was ripped away from her though when I heard the news anchor announcing something on the television.

"Australian band 5 Seconds of Summer was forced to end their concert early last night when guitarist Michael Clifford's hair and face went up in flames. The 19-year-oldlead guitarist rushed offstage as his hair was seen smoking. This was their second of three sold-out shows at Wembley Arena in London. While we are unsure if their next show will go on or not, we do wish Michael a speedy recovery."

My mouth hung open. I could feel my head spinning; so many thoughts were passing through my head at once that I could barely breathe. The remote fell from my hand as Czara inched across the couch towards me, her hand outstretched in my direction. I quickly batted it away and sprung to my feet, hands balled tightly into fists.

"November...just stay calm...everything is—"

"Don't you dare say everything is going to be alright, Czara. Don't you fucking say that. Did you know?!"

"Know wha—"

"This! That they're famous! Touring the world! Are you...oh my God. That's why you were in Japan, isn't it?! You were with them!"

Czara stood, her hands reaching for me in an effort to calm me down, but there was no point in that. I was about to fly off the handle and there was nothing she could do to fix that. Especially now that she was part of the cause of it.

"Yes, I was with them. But—but I didn't know how to tell you that! I didn't know how you would react after that whole Mikey fiasco—"

"Fiasco?!" I let out an amused chuckle as I averted my eyes to the ceiling before bringing them back on her.

You think what happened between Michael and I was a fiasco?! I almost fucking killed myself because of that prick, Czara! And the worst part is that I still fucking love him! And now I come to find out that he's halfway across the world with his fucking face caught on fire..."

It took me a moment to realize the words that had just come out of my mouth. Michael had caught on fire. And here I was worrying about something so minuscule when he was somewhere, without me and in pain. Possibly more.

I ran to my phone, my fingers desperately searching for his contact. They fumbled as I was unable to gain control of them, my body now shaking with horrific sobs. Why was I always crying over him?

Czara rushed to me and grabbed the phone from my hands as I desperately clutched at the air, trying to pry it from her fingers.

"Please, Czara I—I need to talk to him! I need to know—"

"You can't, November. Please just trust me on this," she begged as she held the phone out of my reach.

"I need to know that he's okay! Please! He means the world to me!" I fell to the ground, my tear-stained eyes blurring the background.

I could feel Czara's hand on my back as she rubbed small circles in order to calm me.

"He'll be okay, I promise," she assured me, her tone soft.

"Why can't I talk to him?"

"It' just...it' better this way."

"Czara—"

"He thinks you're dead, November. It's better this way. You can finally move on and so can he. You'll both be fine. I promise."

He thought I was dead, yet he still went on as if everything were fine. He was half-way across the world probably having the time of his life. He thought I was dead, and he was okay.

And I would never be.