November Dreams (M.C.)

Chapter Fifty-Two

               

Luke

I held my breath as November pushed the door open and I followed her inside, shooting one last look at Michael as he withered away on the floor. As we left the storm in the hall, I knew the torrent that was building inside me would be hard to contain. I followed close behind November as we shuffled into the dimly lit room. There was shuffling ahead of me and a small inhale of air. A familiar tuft of hair peeked up at us from the foot of the bed. She shot up quickly as I filed in next to November and closed the door behind me.

She scrambled to her feet, her eyes flicking up to me and then over to November. She opened her mouth to say something, the tears glistening in her blue eyes, but all that made it from her lips were small choking noises. My gut wrenched as I exhaled, readying myself for what was coming next.

"Czara," I breathed quickly, trying as hard as I could to not show how hurt I was, but I had a feeling that she could see it. She always saw through me.

"Luke," she stepped forward towards me, but I stepped backwards immediately. A flicker of shock flashed in her eyes as she wrapped her arms around herself in an attempt to calm her regret.

"No Czara. I'm staying in here tonight with November. I don't care where you stay, but you can't stay here."

"Luke please—"

"Michael's in the hall, maybe he'll let you stay with him," I could feel the malice burning into my features as his name slithered from my pursed lips.

"Luke, please. If you'd just let me explain—"

"I don't care!" I bellowed, slamming my fist into the wall next to me. November and Czars both backed away from me. I felt like I was on fire, the rage within me building.

"Luke, p-please..." she sobbed.

"No!" I pointed at her angrily, stepping towards her quickly as the rage began to seep through my skin.

"You don't get to explain! Because no matter what you say, it doesn't change anything! You slept with him! You screwed over your best friend! And you think I'm just going to magically be okay with you fucking my best friend?!"

"Luke, it was before you and I—"

"That doesn't change the fact that you lied to me. You kept this secret from me, someone who you were supposedly in love with?!"

She moved to me and grabbed my hands, tears sticking to her cheeks as she tried to look me in the eyes. But I didn't want to; I didn't want to be reminded that she had a soul, and that it was calling out to mine.

"Luke, I love you more than anything and I—"

I yanked my hands from her tiny grasp at the mere utterance of that word. 'Love'. What a joke.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!" I stood and reached for the lamp, chucking it at the wall and watching it shatter into a million unequal pieces. Czara yelped and jumped back towards November, who had been watching from the corner of the room silently. I sprung to my feet and sailed to the other side of the room like the ghost that I was. I was a shell of my self; I didn't know this demon who had taken control. But my emotions had taken over, and I feared they were completely out of my hands now.

Czara recoiled as I grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the door.

"I think you should leave now," I said in a monotone voice, trying my hardest not to punch a hole through the door.

She stared up at me as I flung open the door and pushed her out with my frame, catching the attention of a pathetic-looking Michael. She sobbed as her eyes pleaded with me to hear her out, for one more chance. But my mind would not allow it, nor would the quieted rage inside me that was all but caged. I feared if I listened to any details about the two of them together, someone was going to get hurt. And I didn't want that someone to be her.

I gave her one last look; one last look of love, one last look of pain before it was all wiped away. And as I closed the door to the room, I felt as if something jolted inside of me. A part of my soul fluttered to the ceiling and though the roof, up to the heavens and my Creator. A part I would never get back. As I closed the door between us, I was closing the chapter that was me and her. The chapter that had every word of our love written delicately in a beautiful libretto. The chapter that would have no words added, and no words reread.

That part of me had ended with the sealing of a passage and the click of a lock.

//

November

To say Luke looked like the walking dead was a complete falsity. His eyes held no sheen, his lips no smile, his body no color. He looked otherworldly, a demon in human skin. The life had been sucked from him all in the matter of a few moments.

He slithered into bed, his body going completely limp as he curled his fingers around the pillow, his eyes shut tight. I relaxed a little and turned on my side to face him, looking into his eyes through the lids.

"I can feel you staring at me," he muttered through half-closed lips.

I shifted myself onto one elbow as his eyes squinted open.

"I've never seen you act that way, Luke," I whispered.

He looked into my eyes before shutting them again.

"What happened?"

He rubbed his eyes tiredly before opening them, his blue eyes shifting up to meet mine. I could see the damage building behind his eyes, not even a small glint of his usual self peeked through. But I guess I couldn't quite call it his 'usual self' any longer. No, something inside of him had taken over.

Luke looked at me for a moment before shaking his head as he exhaled.

"I don't even know. I just felt so fucked over and used and I guess something inside of me just snapped. Like flipping on a light. It just illuminated that dark part of me; I-I didn't even know I felt that way until it was pouring out of me. And I don't ever want to be that person again," he wiped a stray tear from his face with the pad of his thumb.

"I'm not that person," he whispered.

I put my hand on his as he continued to wipe tears away one by one with his shaky fingers.

"Luke—"

"Fuck, Nove, I just feel so used up. I feel like all of that—everything we had—was a complete lie."

"No, Luke. She loved you, more than anything," I rubbed his hand in a poor attempt at reassurance.

"Then why do I feel so hollow?"

He laid there next to me, tears streaming steadily onto the white linens. No one deserved this; no one deserved to feel unwanted, deceived, broken. Especially not Luke. He was too pure, too gracious at the world around him. But sometimes the good cant stay good forever; sometimes the pure are tainted, sometimes the strong become brittle.

I rested my head on his, his breaths calming below me as his body began to lull him to sleep in the midst of his sorrow. My eyes fluttered at the thought of sleep overtaking my weary form. The darkness closed in on me as I succumbed to it, only the sound of our beating hearts guiding me into slumber.

"Me too, Luke. Me too," I whispered.

And then, the nighttime welcomed me.

The darkness, my familiar home.