November Dreams (M.C.)

Chapter Twenty-Two

My eyes fluttered, letting small flicks of a bright, blinding light into my weary eyes. I opened my eyes slowly, desperately trying to adjust my surroundings. I sat up slowly, my limps almost too tired to hoist the rest of my body up. I felt a small pinch in my arm; I picked up a thin tube, running it through my fingers down to its place in my arm. I winced a bit as a slight pinching sensation traveled through my arm; I carefully set the tube back down, taking extra care not to move it again. It was only once the sensation in my arm disappeared that I realized where I was.

I eyed the room cautiously; the white walls and floors were almost as blinding as the sunlight that shone through the windows. The overpowering smell of the sterility of the room made my nose burn. My eyes traveled to the side of my hospital bed, where Czara sat; her eyes were red and droopy with dark circles under them, like she hadn't slept in weeks.

She looked up at me, sadness and pity reflecting back at me.

"Hey, Nove. How are you feeling?" She gave me a soft smile as she leaned forward, waiting for a response.

I brought my hand to my forehead, taking in how my body was reacting. I felt like I had been asleep forever.

I cracked a small smile and pushed myself up slightly, minding the tube that was stick attached to my arm.

"I feel like I died," I chuckled, shaking my head slightly.

But Czara didn't laugh back. She just stared back at me with a pained look on her face, her eyes laden with concern.

"You don't remember, do you?"

I was confused; the last few months had been a string of me not being able to recall one thing after another, so why was I surprised?

"No...what am I missing Czara?"

"November...you did die. You were dead for a few minutes before I found you on your bathroom floor. I think it was because of what happened with—"

"I died? How long have I been here?"

She let out a heavy sigh.

"They put you in a medically induced coma; you've been in the hospital for three months."

I felt like all the wind had been knocked out of me.

Three months I've been laying here, not a single authentic thought going through my head or a breath escaping my lips that wasn't forced by some intricate machine. Part of me wished I hadn't woken up. My life was a meaningless void; that was why I wanted to end things in the first place.

But I couldn't try that again, and the only reason was because of Czara. I couldn't leave knowing what it would do to her. Seeing her face when I woke up today broke my heart, and I had lived. I could only imagine what I would be putting her through if I had ended things for good.

The only other person I could think of that I didn't want t leave behind was Michael. But everything between us had been shattered; irreparable damage had been done and I feared that the pieces could never be put back together again.

But without him, there would always be a piece of me that was still dead on the bathroom floor.

And that, I was certain, would never change.