STARBOY || ollie bearman

1.1

Closing my bedroom door behind me, I sighted. New bedroom, new chapter of my life. Or was it? I had been through this process many times before. Far more often than I preferred. We moved to a new city, I got a new bedroom, had to go to a new school and tried to make friends there, even though I was very well aware, we would probably move away again after five months or less. I never had many friends because of that.

I didn't mind though, I had gotten used to it. I didn't want to promise anyone my friendship if I'd just leave them a few months later.

However, my mum promised me this time would be different. I didn't believe her, preventing myself from getting my hopes up. It basically didn't want to be disappointed.

My mum was a lawyer. She had studied in Germany and was only 19 years old when she got pregnant with me. She somehow managed to raise me, while continuing to study *jura*. I admired her for her determination and how she was able balance her work life and family perfectly.

My dad used to be a formula 1 driver. I was born before his formula 1 career had even started, but even in his most successful years, he always found time to spent with me. Finally in 2016 he won the Formula 1 world championship and a few months later he retired. He wanted to concentrate more on his family and he did.

We moved to England and my parents bought a lovely house.

Due to my mum's job, we had to move a lot. I didn't blame her for not having friends or for never really feeling at home. I couldn't blame anyone, it simply sucked.

She worked for a pretty big law firm, which had a lot of partner firms in different cities. With every promotion my mum achieved we had to pack our things and move to a new city.

The first few times it was exciting to move to a new city. Getting to know new people and starting a new chapter in your life, but the more we moved the less exciting it got.

Luckily this time, we moved to a new place during winter break. Meaning once school started again, I wouldn't draw too much attention towards me, because there would hopefully be more than one transfer student for the new semester.

Another good thing about the time we moved was, I had a week to get used to the new environment before I was busy with school.

I walked around the neighborhood exploring it and creating mental notes for stores I walked past, which I wanted to visit again some time else. I discovered it only took me about ten minutes to walk to my school, which was good because I absolutely hated going by bus. To anyone driving by I must have looked like an absolute idiot standing in front of my school's fence during winter break.

My first week in Chelmsford passed faster than I noticed. It was Sunday and I was preparing my things for tomorrow. I wasn't nervous at all; it was just another first day. Everyone would look at me for about three seconds until they go back to their own life.

I didn't worry about what my new classmates would think about me either, I simply didn't care.

I put my pencil case and a notebook in my backpack as well as other essentials.

My school's color was blue, which meant most of my school uniform was blue as well. I was pretty relieved when I read my school's dress code. Girls were allowed to chose whether they wanted to wear skirts or pants. I chose to wear a skirt since I was used to it. Both the pants and skirts were dark blue and the tie was a mix of a dark and light blue pattern. We were able to pick what we wanted to wear over the white shirt given by our school. The only requirement was that the piece of clothing was black, dark blue or dark grey. No one was supposed to stand out, so no one was allowed to wear bright and bold colors. During summer time students were encouraged to exchange their long sleeved shirt with a short sleeved one.

...

I was sitting on the kitchen counter wearing my school uniform and eating a bowl of cereal. My mum had left for work twenty minutes after I woke up and wished me a good first day. My dad was still sleeping, but had promised me the night before he'd take me to school, even though it would have only been a short walk.

I was putting my bowl away when I heard my dad come downstairs. He greeted me with a sleepy smile.

"Morning, sweetheart," he pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"Morning," I passed him a cup of coffee, which he gladly accepted.

"Nervous about your first day?"

"No," I shook my head.

We both sat in silence, my dad sipping his coffee and me looking at the newest Instagram posts.

"By the way, before I forget to tell you, your mum and I talked yesterday and since we're planning on staying here, we decided you should take your mum's maiden name in school,"

I rose my eyebrows in surprise. Usually, I had used my dad's last name: Rosberg and they never had a problem with it.

"Johnson? Why?"

"We don't want to create any unnecessary fuss about your last name. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to hide, but as long as the press and paparazzi don't know where we live, our life is peaceful. I hope I don't have to remind you of that one time we had to move, because one of your classmates sold the press the information about our exact address and they started taking very inappropriate pictures,"

"You don't. How could I forget? It was bloody horrible,"

"What if someone asks me about my family, am I supposed to lie about your job?"

"Just try to dodge the question or tell a half lie,"

I nodded in understanding. Even though my dad had retired from formula 1 nearly six years ago, the paparazzi and the press weren't any less interested in any possible scandals involving him. We couldn't even properly go on vacation without cameras following us. My dad had tried his best to protect my mum and me from the photographers and he did so pretty successfully.

Back when my dad was still racing, I was in the paddock with him almost all of the time. I loved it. Watching my dad get out of his car when he won a grand prix or scored a podium finish were part of the best moments in my live. The happiness on his face was unmatched. I knew what he had given up for his family and I couldn't thank him enough.

I had always loved formula 1, but karting and one day racing in Formula 1 was never something I wanted to do. I enjoyed watching the sport and talking about it, but actually participating in it myself wasn't part of my interest.

Once when I was younger, I had asked my dad if he'd be disappointed if I didn't follow his footsteps and start racing.

You are my daughter and the most important thing in my life. I could never be disappointed by anything you do or don't do. I love you and I will always support your decisions, no matter what.

That was one of the best things he had ever said to me and he hasn't ever before not acted that way. He had always supported me and he had always loved me.

One could describe the relationship between my parents and me as perfect. We hardly ever fought and I could tell them anything. I loved them more than anything and they were the only permanent thing in my life.

I had never been in a relationship before. Hell, I had hardly had friendships before. Relationships take time to develop, falling in love takes time. Time, I didn't have, because I moved away before things could get too serious. I had been falling for someone before, I had been crushing on someone before, but I had never been head over heels for someone.

I wanted to fall in love, I wanted to make friends. I wanted to make mistakes and I wanted to make stupid decisions. I wanted to have fun, I wanted to spent time with people my age. I wanted to just be a teenager for once in my life. I wanted to have everything I had never had before. I wanted to do everything I had never done before. I wanted to have a normal life. I wanted to stop protecting myself from possible harm and live in the moment.