I'm Gonna Miss You

Chapter 10: Letters From The Grave

I woke up that morning feeling better than I had last night. I knew that the only way I could make Nelson proud was if I kept on going about my day doing my best in everything. I tossed my blanket off of me, the sudden urge to do a million things in the morning rushing through my body, and got up. My foot touched something soft on the floor.

"Stay there." I pointed to my pillow in its usual morning spot.

I turned to my door and gave out a big stretch. I twisted the knob of my door ready to go downstairs but I couldn't. I twirled back around and faced the fallen pillow, still laying on the floor.

"Dammit." I picked it up and tossed it onto the bed.

I thought it would have been fine if I just left it laying there but I guess not. Now that the pillow was back safely where it belonged, I headed out the door and down the steps. It was unusually quiet for morning breakfast. Usually Gran and Gramps were laughing and giggling like a couple of high school sweethearts, but today they weren't.

I turned the corner to see my mom and dad sitting directly across from my grandparents. I eyed them carefully, wondering why they murmured with their partners and not with the others in front of them. I walked over to the kitchen counter to get a bowl of cereal, my eyes lingering on the quartet.

Something about the vibe in this room made me worry. There was a strange tension among the occupants of the dinning table. I tried not to mind them because they might have had a quarrel earlier and I didn't want to get in the middle of it. I poured my cereal into the bowl of milk and picked it up, wondering where I was going to sit.

If I sat beside my grandparents I might offend mom and dad, but if I sat with them then I might offend the other. Either way I was going to hurt someone, so I decided I wouldn't sit with either of them. I put down my bowl and began eating where I was. I was actually surprised that neither pair noticed my loud crunching of cereal.

"We're going now." My dad stood up.

I looked at the clock and it was only 7:45 in the morning. "We'll be home late, Lilah." My mother handed me their dirty dishes, which I placed in the sink.

I knew they were my parents and I loved them with all my heart for raising me, but after reading Nelson's letter I can't help but hate them the slightest bit. If they weren't the way they were, none of this would have happened. If they didn't have to keep pushing to get their way then I wouldn't have cried all those days. Nelson wouldn't want me to blame them, but honestly, I couldn't help it. It was their fault my brother was gone.

I watched them as they left through the front door. "We talked to your parents, darling."

My grandmother's voice rang through my head snapping me out of my gaze. "About?"

I almost choked on the milk from trying to speak so suddenly. "We asked them if they wanted us to stay or go."

"Of course, they said that they had no opinion." My grandfather spoke up as Gran washed the dishes beside me. "So now it's up to you."

I swallowed a huge lump of cereal that caught in my throat. Maybe this was why they were being strange earlier. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and looked at Gran who was staring at me intently. I wanted them to stay but was that being selfish? What if they had something to take care of back home?

"Do you guys have anything to do back home?" I decided I should ask.

The couple looked at each other as I took a seat at the dinning table. "Well, no."

"We're both retired and we don't do much all day." Gramps stated.

If they had nothing to do back where they came from, then why not have nothing to do here? "Would you like to stay?"