I'm Gonna Miss You

Chapter 18: Spreading the Love

'Lilah,

The last few letters, I've piled on tons and tons of words. Your head's probably aching from all of it, but you gotta do what you gotta do right?
I'll try to keep this as short as possible, because you're gonna need a lot more time to prepare for this than anything else I've asked you to do.
You're gonna start school soon, your first day of your junior year, and I know what you'll do. You'll stay quiet and sit at the back until you absolutely have to talk to someone. I know you, Lilah. I've lived with you majority of my life.
You're an amazing person underneath all that shyness and anxiety. I never understood why you let all that stop you. You have such an amazing personality and such a great sense of humour, but every time you get a chance to be who you are you choose to hide. I won't let you do that anymore.

Now you're gonna have to grow a pair.

I don't care if you're a girl, you better man up (woman-up?)

Actually you're pretty strong already, I mean, you bleed every month, you deal with pain because of that bleeding, you have muscles strong enough to push out a baby. Good luck with that in the future, by the way.
Jeez, being a girl is tough.

You're probably wondering why I'm saying all of this. It's because I was your brother, your only brother. I was supposed to be there when you had your first boyfriend, when you found someone you loved, when you went through your first break up, when you got hurt, when you were happy. But I can't.
You need to hear it at least once. Know that I will forever cherish you and understand what kind of hell you're going through just because you have two x-chromosomes.

Do you remember when we were at the mall when you were five? There were these two girls standing at the center, holding up a sign that said 'Free Hugs'. You got so excited that you ran over to them and hugged her so tight. They even asked for your picture afterwards.

I never understood why you were so happy or what made you so energetic about it, but what I did understand, is that it takes a lot of guts to offer hugs to a complete stranger.

Can you guess what I'm gonna ask you to do?

Go to the arts and crafts store, get some glitter pens and some paper because you're gonna give out free hugs.

You can bring Kyan along, but good luck getting her to agree to the idea.

P.S. Did you have fun at the barbecue? Did you meet new people? A cute guy, maybe? I wish I could've been there to see it. To see you smiling along side mom and dad. Nothing would be able to make me happier than being able to see that. Nothing at all.

Love,

Nelson.'

I wore a white mid riff top with slightly thick straps, a high-waisted maroon high-low skirt, a thin gold belt connecting the two pieces, and my red velvet wedges. My wrist was covered in golden bangles, my ears pierced with gold dangling triangles. I put on the chain earrings that Kyan bought me, attaching one end to the top of my ear and the other to the new piercing. I searched the closet for the specific bag I had in my head, the one with a gold chain strap and a glittered red casing. After riffling through various clothes, I finally found the one I was thinking of. I grabbed it and stuffed in my wallet, phone and keys.

As I got to the first floor, only my grandparents were in the living room, watching the news broadcast. My parents had started work again, meaning they had to leave super early every morning. Today was their first day back after the week-long vacation, and I already missed seeing them every morning. It was 11 am, as Gran and Gramps shared a couch.