it's me [muke af]

if you don't know//5 seconds of summer

if you don't know//5 seconds of summer 

Michael was pacing the living room as Luke yelled at him more and more. Alex and Nick were both out, but that never stopped their family meetings. 

This felt like the first family meeting they ever had, it was just Luke, Michael, and Michael's growing belly. Except now they don't even have that, it's just Luke and Michael. Luke and Michael. Luke and Michael. 

"I shouldn't fear my life around my husband!" Luke yelled, his hands were expressing his emotions as he threw them around. The notebook wasn't in use as it sat next to the blonde. 

"It's not me!" He screamed back. Michael took a drink from the water in his hand, nervously clutching the glass. 

"Yes, it is! I know you're not mentally all the way there, but they're still you! They just the worst part of your mind!"

He rolled his eyes and seemed to scream at the ceiling, "I can't control that! I'm mentally ill, and you know that!" Michael sat down on the opposite couch, looking at his husband. His eyes were so sad. His eyes were so green. His eyes were so empty. 

"Exactly! That's why there's pills you can take! Shots you can take! Patches you can apply! There are ways to help you, you just won't fucking listen."

"I am listening!"

Luke stood up, unbuttoning his jeans and lifting up his shirt, "Do you see this?" He pointed to dark patches upon his skin.

"What am I looking at?"

"You. You did this, Michael. These are your handprints on my neck, this is the bruise from you shoving me against the wall, this is from your hipbones. This is you. This is not Calum." 

Luke pointed to the ten lines around his neck. He traced the light brown bruises above his back dimples. He pressed into the dark purple mark around his hipbone.

"You can't blame me."

Luke sat down, buttoning his pants again. "Yes, I can. You're able to fix this, and you're choosing not to. What if Calum took his hands around Alex's neck? I would never forgive myself!"

Michael sighed, "I don't want to go on them, Luke."

His partner clenched his jaw and sat up straight. "Either you get on them or I'm taking the kids and leaving." Luke looked at the startled green eyes with his darkening blue ones. "I'm serious."

"That's not fair! You can't do that!" Michael yelled, standing up again. He was never good at sitting still. 

"I can't? You really think I can't do that?"

Michael stormed out of the room, shouting incoherent sentences between each body-shaking sob. He ran to their room, closing the door and locking it tightly. He needed to be alone. Alone is a scary thing, alone is when the monsters come out.  

(a/n) i'm not okay and i'm not sure when i'll be back