one girl. one past.

PAST

I walk up to the door with henry his hand on my back. "Where have you been" josh says walking to me. seeing I'm covered in blood and a total wreck "its a long story. Thank you henry for the ride bye" i say walking to my room "you have a good night ma'am" he says and walks away. "Who was that and why are you well a mess" he asks we walk inside "i was walking i seen a girl and she said he was dead and i followed her to a man that was laying in the floor in a old house" i say he looks at me with consurn "is he okay? What happened?" He asks. "He's dead." I say feeling memories flood my mind. He puts his arm around me "come on you need to get cleaned up you can tell me later" he says helping me up and we head to the bathroom he undresses me and helps me into the shower and helps me clean up. Then he helps me put a t-shirt and some panties on and then i lay in bed and fall asleep with him laying beside me.
___dream____
A little girl hiding and crying she hears him yelling he opens the door and grabs her by her hair and throws her to the floor she begs that she is sorry he hits her several times as she cries and screams she askes him to stop but he keeps hitting her then when he runs out of energy he takes another drink of his achohol and throws her into the closest and locks the door.
___end of dream___
I wake up screaming and crying josh puts his arms around me "its okay it was just a dream its okay" he says rubbing my back trying to calm me. I cry leaning my head against his sholder breathing hard. "Kk I'm here its okay" he says and hugs me. I slowly fall back asleep but wake up later finding him gone. I get up and look around he is gone but there is a note
**note**
Hey kk had to go for a bit be back as soon as possible please stay safe and don't go to far.
***End note***
i crumble up the note and then grab the orange juice from the fridge and start pooring me a glass. "Kk are you okay?" I hear and i drop my glass jumping i spin around and see Jake "j..jake why are you here" i say studdering shocked to see him. I start to clean up the glass "well i seen the cop here last night i just wanted to check on you" he says handing me a towel. I grab it shakeing "I'm fine you c..can go" i say again stuttering. "Okay...kk i know your not okay please tell me the truth" he says turning my face to face him "jake i don't want to talk about it or even talk to you please just leave i don't want to go through this just please leave" i say starting to cry as i tare my face from his hand "i want to apologize kk can i please apologize i was out of line it was stupid please i swear it will never happen again please please kk forgive me I'm begging" he says grabbing my sholders "i..i am sorry jake leave" i say crying he hugs me and i slowly hug him back still shaking. At one time i would kill for a hug from him but now i just want it to be over i just want everything to be normal again i don't want to have bad memories of jake but i don't have a choice no more."im sorry kk i really am" he says i pull out of the hug and wrap my arms around myself "jake you should go now before josh comes back" i say looking down at the broken glass and my feet bleeding he looks down his eyes widen "oh my god kk let me help please" he says bending down i put my hand on his sholder and pull him up to look at me "jake i don't feel those things no more jake leave please" i say pointing at the door and trying to keep from crying again "okay kk for you but please take care of that and you.. i love you kk" he says pulling me into a hug as i see a tear in his eye then he leaves. I bend down and clean up the glass from my feet and the floor i clean up the blood and orange juice. I set on the couch not thirsty anymore i turn the tv on flipping through the channels. I hear a knock at the door and groan and ignore it not wanting more company after a while the knocking stops and i start to flip through the channels again. After a while i find myself waking up on the couch the tv off and it was dark outside. I get up kind of limping cause my foot stong a little. I head to the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror i see my messy layered black til the tips then died blue hair. Brown ash eyes. 5'4 Black nails.black my chimacal romance sweat shirt..
...flash back..
Then it turns to a little girl brown haird bruises all over "I'm sorry i killed her I'm sorry" she cries a man with a bottle in one hand brown hair rage in his eyes "she died its your fault you killed her i hate you you need to pay" he yells hitting her once again..
..flash back over...
I start to cry "who would love a killer who would love someone like me!" I scream as i crash my fist against the mirror several times. then run out of energy and fall to the floor and pull my knees to my face "your fault your fault your fault" i repeat rocking back and forth crying. I want to cut cutting would help i need to cut my mind repeats.