one girl. one past.

UNEXPECTED TURN

I wake up on Saturday josh is asleep in the chair in front of me. I get up and head to my bathroom and take a shower after i get out i slip my towel on. "Josh gotta get dressed can you leave my room" i yell no answer i walked into my room josh was gone. I slip on some jeans and a baggy t-shirt and put my hair in a messy bun. I head to the kitchen josh and jake is setting in the living room " um josh what is he doing here" i ask in anger "he wants to talk to you" josh says "can we talk alone" jake says i roll my eyes and walk to my room jake follows "why are you here what makes you think i want to talk to you" i say in anger "kk I'm sorry i just needed to know you can get better i shouldnt have left you i had no choice" he says pleading with me " you no what you made it worse not better you should have stay gone it might have helped me. I freaken didn't ask for your opinion on my scars and i didn't want you to see them but you destracted me with your well you! Just leave before i say something!" I say throwing his words in his face "kk please i just didn't want to loose you and that was the only way i could stop you from doing it and it worked" he says grabbing my wrists and looks at my fading scars "well you did loose me and you made it worse leaving me you don't know a thing about my past so don't you dare pretend you do and josh helped me he stayed with me he helped me my scars are fading because of josh not you!" I yell in his face yanking my wrists out of his hands and crying "kk i didn't mean to hurt you i didn't know how to react when i seen them i was scared" he says to me coming closer "leave now!" I scream pushing him a way josh comes in and stands between me and jake "kk please don't do this" he says with sadness in his eyes "you heard her leave" josh says walking closer to jake. Jake backs up "kk please" he says " you should leave now" josh says with anger in his voice jake walks out. I fall to the ground crying "kk are you okay? What happened? I'm sorry i didn't know?" He says with sadness in his eyes "its not your fault josh you didn't know" i say hiding my face he wraps his arms around me putting my face on his sholder "i will help you i won't let him near you again i am sorry i didn't mean to. He wont hurt you again I'm here i will help you i won't leave or hurt you i promise" he says squeezing me in a hug i cry into his sholder as i hug him back."everything is going to be okay i will help you. I am here for you." He says in my ear. I lean up to look into his tear filled eyes "josh don't leave me" i beg leaning my head in his chest."I'm not going anywhere i promise kk i will stay as long as you will keep me" he says kissing the top of my head. He hugs me again then helps me up from the floor and i head to the bed "you hungry i will get us some breakfast" he says pulling the covers on me i knew i needed to be alone "yes can you get some donuts from the cáfe down the street" i say he hugs me again "anything to make you happy" he says and leaves it was almost to easy. I can't go on not no more i can't this pain is to much to bare i can't do it. After he leaves the room i head to the living room til he disappears from sight i head to Jessies knowing he was gone for work and i have a spare key. I head into his kitchen grabbing a sharp knife and start to head to my apartment i see jake walking my way i hide the blade in my poket. I had to do something to get him to go away and quick. I head into my apartment but he follows darn it. I wanted him to leave me alone it hurts to see him "kk please listen let me explained" he says putting his foot in the door way before i could close it. "Jake now is not the time leave me alone i hate you" i lie the words sting my throt as i say them and you can see the pain in his face "kk please i didn't know it would hurt you i just wanted you safe please" he says pushing the door open and knocking me to the growned i feel a huge pain in my lower back god the knife it is in me. I moen in pain but quickly hide the pain "jake mmm leave i don't want you here not now not ever" i say holding back tears he holds his hand out but i had my hands gripping the knife in my back. "Just let me help you up i will leave" he says motioning to his hand i let go of the knife with one hand and grab his hand "oh my god! Kk what happened!" He says panicing i realize my hand is coverd in blood "jake please its not what it looks like i was just going to cut some tomatos up and well i thought you would get mad seeing the knife in my hand so i hid it in my poket and well i fell" i lie  he helps me up "oh god its in your back!" He says to me looking at my back holding me up "jake just go please" i say to him he can't be here i don't want him to see me like this. "No I'm not going anywhere I'm calling 911" he says i push away falling again i let out a scream the knife went deeper i start to cry "jake don't call 911 what will they think don't I'm begging you" i say crying " fine but let me help I'm not leaving you" he says picking me up and lays me on my belly on the bed blood was everywhere i felt me getting dizzy i lost so much blood. He takes off his belt "what are you doing!" I say memories running through my head i shake them from my head. "Bite it now please" he says i give him a cunfused look "do it" he says i bite down on it as i feel the knife being pulled out of my back i scream out in pain letting the belt go he pulles the knife out as i scream. I close my eyes in relieve but still i was in pain. "I'm sorry kk i really am i care about you i really do I was just scared. Scared of loosing you." He says to me as he leaves the room and comes back with a wet towel and he starts to clean the blood off. "Jake i don't want to talk about this" i say starting to cry again "when then cause i can wait for you i will wait for you as long as it takes" he says to me as he dabs at the sore. "Jake stop i don't want to talk about it" i say again. After a while he stops "your going to need a shower your covered in blood i will help you" he says "no you wont I can wait" i say to him "kk i swear i won't touch you. You just need some help I'm here to help you please" he says "jake i don't want your help you never wanted to help me before why should that change now" i say in anger "because i love you" he says to me "and I'm supposed to believe that no! Stop leave before i go off on you!" I yell "I'm not leaving you not again" he says "jake i don't know you i don't even know your age so don't you dare say you love me when you don't know me" i yell "fine no shower but I'm not leaving" he says i roll my eyes he sets in the chair where josh sets i lay on my side facing away from him "can you get me another shirt before josh gets back" i say realizing i forgot about josh he gets up and hands me a long sleeve blue sweater i stay turned away trying to pull my shirt off but it hurt to move. He grabs my side and sets me up and turns me to him. "I can do it" i say "let me help kk" he says i don't argue there was nothing left to fight for i got jake what i cried for and he explained he was scared that's why he left. He slowly slips my shirt out of one arm then the other then over my head and then puts my arms in the other i moan in pain as he slips it down by my sore. "Sorry" he says softly he lays me back down i moan again in pain. "Kk please forgive me"