one girl. one past.

GO GETTER

{TRIGGER WARNING SKIP IF EASY SET OFF OR WEAK STOMACH}
I head down to downtown I need to find him if its not good its bad and I need to know either way. I get downtown I search the streets and I don't see no one. After it starts to get dark I finally give up and start to go home. I feel someone grab me I get pushed against the wall "WHY ARE YOU HERE?" The person asks in anger I see it is josh "why shouldn't I be?" I say "YOU KNOW WHY ITS NOT A GOOD PLACE AND NOT GOOD PEOPLE ARE HERE!" He says meanly and had lots of anger in his voice "not good people like you?" I say looking at him still pushing me against the wall he let's go "YES PEOPLE LIKE ME!" He saying kind of sad "josh this isn't you I know you this isn't you" I say "OH IT ISN'T THEN WHY AM I HEAR? KK YOU DONT KNOW ME YOU NEVER DID!" He says with venom in his tone I start to cry but you wouldn't see it cause the rain "I just wanted to see if you were okay and I see your fine without me" I say and start to walk away he grabs me and shoves me against the wall almost to hard I let out a uff from the shove he kisses me hard I set there in shock then I kiss him back this kiss was diffrent it felt like a goodbye kiss. I cry through the kiss he runs his hand down my body as he kisses me feeling my body all over it sent shivers down my body he let's me out of the kiss and shoves me away I fall onto the ground " IM FINE WITHOUT YOU NOW GET OUT OF HERE!" He said still mad and looks away I get up and don't say a word and just walk away. I cry the whole way back I was glad it was raining. I get back jake is gone I lock the door and take a shower to see if it helps but the pain in my stomach just wouldn't stop I try to eat but it hurt worse so I threw it all back up. I try not to cut for a long time but I give in and grab the box cutter and dig it into my wrists with rage dark blood came rushing out it didn't stop I start to get dizzy I lay on the floor and see if it helped but it didn't I close my eyes and feel muself slip. I see me as a young girl running through the play ground with my dad he is trying to tickle me he is smiling I am too he hugs me all the sudden he gets ripped away in the wind I scream and cry as I disappear. I wake up in henrys arms "kk hang in please wake up stay with me" he lays me in the car... I am little again I am hugging my dad he then lays me into my bed and gives mw flowers what why? He kisses my forehead as he cries my dad turns into jessie "I thought I was worth living for I wanted you to be in my wedding" he says crying josh then comes up laughing with jake "that's a good one and she actually believed you loved her" jake says to josh "yaeh what an idiot let's go this funeral is a drag" josh says walking away nickol appears "everyone leaves me I want my mommy back" she says slitting her throat blood runs everywhere henry comes up "I thought you were strong hang in if not for me do it for others you love I love you please stay hang in I know your strong keep breathing" he says shacking me ...I wake up with people all around me. A pain shoots into my wrists I scream loud the pain didn't stop there my stomach hurt I cry in pain. Henry is there screaming "breath!" I gasp for air as blood comes from my mouth. Everything goes black. There was nothing just darkness and silence it was peaceful it felt amazing there was no pain nothing I open my eyes seeing henry beside me holding me in his arms "is this what heaven feels like?" I say he smiles "close its pain killers" he says laughing as he runs his fingers acrossed my bandages "why kk?" He says a tear runs down my cheek "you wouldn't understand" I say looking away he kisses my cheek "I'm here to listen" he says as he holds me "the pain goes away for that moment" I began he stops me "I know that but what made you do it" he says " one guy" I say he nods as I cry "your dad?" He says I set up "how did you?" I say "I am a cop" he says with a small grin "oh I forgot" I say then nod I didn't feel like telling him about josh he always didn't like him and well josh is gone so it wouldn't do no good to talk about him. The pain in my stomach comes back I groan and curl into a ball. "Kk are you okay? do you want me to get the nurse? Is there anything I can do?" He says panicing and holding my back "its okay I'll be okay" I say as tears run down my face. "Kk I know your strong but in straenth there is weakness" he says rubbing my back I fake a smile "long time no see" he says I lean against him closing my eyes "if I'm going to hell I might as well enjoy it" I mumble under my breath he runs his hand through my hair and ksses the top of my head I look up at him he smiles. I then run my hands into his shirt feeling his stomach "burr" he says I giggle and smile.