adopted by sandra bullock (and her gf cate blanchett)

chapter 40

TW/ implications of abuse + anxiety/panic attack

"so," sarah continued, "are you gonna explain why the fuck someone on the phone called you mom?"

sarah was in shock when she heard the voice on the end of the line call sandy "mom".

she seemed to have sobered up in an instant, filled with confusion and then anger as the look on sandys face confirmed what she had overheard.

"oh my god," sarah continued, "i can't believe this- what- how-"

"i can explain," sandy cut her off, "just not now, please...can we...do you want to come over? tomorrow after work? you can meet them."

"THEM!?"

"yes...two of them...just please sarah i'm sorry i kept it from you but i can explain i just don't feel well right now and i really don't want to talk about it-"

sandy slowly broke down into tears, unable to keep her composure at the thought of lying to one of her closest friends.

sarah moved towards sandy to envelope her in a hug, but as she got closer to the drunk and crying woman sandy flinched away, covering her head with her hands.

sarah was not prepared for that reaction.

she just watched as sandy slowly sunk to the floor, and then joined her there sitting next to her slowly.

sarah slowly and cautiously put her arm around sandy and guided her to look in her eyes.

"it's me sandy, it's sarah, i'm not mad at you i promise."

sandy just nodded and leaned into her friend, embarrassed at the way she had broken down.

once she caught her breath she spoke, "i'm so so sorry for lying to you sar. it's the last thing i wanted to do. i was going to tell you before the movie started so it wasn't awkward and then the date got moved, and i plan to tell everyone who is invited to the dinner on friday. i just didn't think it was fair if the press and the world found out before my family did so i tried to keep it from everyone until i could tell you all it once."

sarah understood, she was angry at first and she still was confused but sandy was never one to act rashly and sarah was sure she had a reason for everything she did.

before she could respond she heard footsteps, and sandy did too as she rapidly started wiping away her tears.

sarah got off the floor and helped sandy up, just in time for cate to enter.

all it took was a glance at sandy for cate to know she wasn't okay.

"i was just thinking about heading home," cate lied, "and wanted to know if you were on your way out since we came together, or if i should call an uber."

in truth cate had wandered in the kitchen in search of another drink, but could tell that her girlfriend was in no state to continue here.

"i was actually just thinking of leaving too." sandy shakily replied.

"okay, let me just let anne know we're on our way out and-"

sarah interrupted before cate could continue, "i can let anne know, i'm sure she won't take any offense if you don't personally say goodbye. get home safe you two, sandy you'll text me when you're home?"

sandy nodded, forever grateful for her friend despite how she might make fun of her.

cate drove home despite sandys protests that she was fine.

in the car sandy explained what happened with sarah and that she would be coming over to meet the kids tomorrow, leaving out the part about the near panic attack.

cate wasn't thrilled with the way things turned out, but felt better with one less lie to keep going.

both women changed immediately into their pajamas upon getting home, and after sandy peeked into dani and dylan's rooms to check on them she climbed into bed next to her girlfriend, letting out a heavy sigh as her head hit the pillow.

"do you wanna talk about it love?" cate asked, sensing how upset sandy was.

sandy let out yet another long sigh.

"it's just...this is really not how i wanted things to go with sarah."

cate turned to rest her chin on sandys chest, wrapping her arms around the other woman.

"i mean i know she said she wasn't mad at me but still, i hate upsetting people."

"paulson will come around, she's been telling me how she's dying to be a fun, cool, aunt, the minute she lays eyes in those kids she's gonna forget anything even happened. you were both a bit tipsy and i think you startled each other, it really won't be a big deal in the end i promise. and if she does make a big deal out of it, i'll beat her ass."

cates statement put a smile on sandys face as she remembered the last time cate and sarah got in a "fight", a drunken bet that ended with sarah needing stitches in her eyebrow.

"thank you catie that means a lot to me, and i'm sure you're right i think we were both just shocked and sar is gonna love the twins when she meets them."

cate hummed in agreement and placed a gentle kiss on sandys forehead.

"i'm glad you feel a little better about that situation now, but i can tell there's something more bothering you darling, you haven't stop shaking since we left. you can tell me anything you know that right?"

sandy hadn't even realized she was shaking, but she supposed it hadn't stopped since she broke down in sarah's arms.

sandy was too tired and too emotionally exhausted to give cate the full answer she deserved, so she went with the abbreviated version.

"i was just really startled when sarah got angry at me, you know sometimes when alcohol and angry people mix i get a little upset...it's just...habit i guess."

sandy was quiet as she said that, pretending to be distracted by playing with cates hair.

although sandys words were vague, cate knew enough to piece together what sandy was referring to.

she didn't say anything, she knew sandy didn't want to say s anymore, cate simply hugged her girlfriend as they both shed a few tears.

in a matter of minutes both women were asleep, eager to put the sour parts of their nights behind them and get some rest for what was sure to be an eventful next day.