My Mute Crush

Tasting the Actuality III

He hung his head low and decided to move out of the house. He cannot hear more things from the past he was trying hard to move on from. However, today Jiang Cheng was unstoppable. He spoke again, "This is how I felt after watching your kiss that night."

The step Xiao Zhan was about to take, faltered suddenly. Jiang Cheng saw them kissing. When? "That's right. In that parking lot, I saw you kissing him. I went to check on you since you haven't returned home. But instead of me, this time you called him. I saw myself being replaced with my own eyes. You never kissed me when you were drunk. Never once hugged me. But you without any hesitancy threw yourself on him."

Xiao Zhan remained silent. He no longer had the strength in himself to say anything to Jiang Cheng. "Do you know how it feels to watch the person you love hanging around with their loved one every weekend? Do you know the pain of waiting for your special one when he went out on a date with a bastard whom you hate the most? Did you know the restlessness when you have to sit for a whole night waiting for your loved one at home? Have you ever felt that tormenting heart when you see the person you love getting together with someone else day by day and all you can do is sit and watch?

"What do you think I never saw the way you look at him whenever he is around. What do you think have I never seen him taking care of you without your knowledge? Do I not know how clumsy you tend to be around him subconsciously and how stronger and more perfect you show yourself in front of everyone else? I notice every fucking detail of you Xiao Zhan. I noticed everything from the start. But I never said a thing. Deep down I had faith that you will be with me at the end of the day. But you proved me wrong, wrecked my every single fucking faith that night to the point where I just wanted to end whatever that was brimming between you two.

"However, the next day when I went to Xiao Mansion to look for you, I didn't find you there. when I called you on your phone, it was he who received the call. I wondered why your phone was with him in the early morning. But his words answered all my questions. At first, I just thought he was mocking me. Yet, when I saw you outside that café in his clothes, covered in his marks, I lost it all at once. The person I hated the most had already claimed you as his. I asked you to have breakfast in the car whilst asking one of his friends to stage a play for me. I knew that he had confessed his love and walked out of the closet in front of his friends. I used to same reason to manipulate the incident that you saw. I was betting on the bigger picture at that time. And I won! I wanted to keep you to myself. I was being greedy, greedy for your love."

It was at this moment that Xiao Zhan turned around to face Jiang Cheng again. The eyes which were having an ounce of remorse before, a bit of brotherly love and a small amount of hate... everything suddenly turned cold. He wanted to slap Jiang Cheng again. He wanted to scold Jiang Cheng again. He wanted to yell. But he has long since realized that his mistake was grave. He trusted the wrong person, he suspected the right one. Wang Yibo was just a call away seven years ago. Yet, he still ended up listening to Jiang Cheng's words. He thought Jiang Cheng was always on his side. But despite being on the same side, Jiang Cheng never treasured his feelings, his emotions... Instead, all he did was play with them.

Every feeling that Jiang Cheng mentioned, he experienced every bit of them. He knows how it feels to watch Wang Yibo hanging around with other girls. He went through the pain mentioned by Jiang Cheng after watching Wang Yibo dating beautiful ladies. He knew Wang Yibo wasn't into boys and he was just treating him special because of his disabilities. But it still hurt to watch your loved one's preferences. He went through those restless nights when he saw Wang Yibo taking girls out on a night. But he never heard about those nights from Wang Yibo again. He was lying awake for the whole night, thinking, and imagining the things that might be happening between his love and the girl. Yet, after the first time, Wang Yibo never mentioned, nor called him for help.