This letter is for: 23.4.2011
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Day 20 – The one that broke your heart the hardest.
Dear Crush,
Fourth letter, everyone is probably annoyed at you for taking all the spotlight. (:
This letter in particular is the saddest and is definitely…the hardest to write out of the four. You had to see this coming, you knew this would happen, actually you never knew about my crush for you.
It’s difficult...to say that you did break my heart, the only one that has ever done so in all the years of my life. The point where it hurt the most was when I found out that you had a girlfriend that not only went to my school though was in half my classes last year. She was…well not the most focused people, I would say a big rebel but at least she was nice. She was and in Art that day, she was talking…about you. I clarified with her that it was you and she said it was, asking how I knew him.
I hesitated, truly crushed and I just said, “He went to my primary school.”
It hurt to see her so happy to talk about him, it really did. I regret saying those words to her, wishing that our relationship was more than just going to the same school.
I cried a little that afternoon at home, if you think that’s petty of me then go ahead, think what you like but to me it wasn’t a shameful cry, it was one of hurt and I’m proud that I cared enough to wish their relationship good luck.
You were really handsome, still are and I wasn’t surprised to see a lot of girls chase after you, definitely now that you’re older. Your relationship with her didn’t last long, a few weeks and I would be lying if I wasn’t happy though I wasn’t ecstatic. It didn’t really matter anymore since you had already crushed my heart. Yet I still like you, heck I try to scold myself for doing so though I can’t come to get mad at you.
You’ve been single from that day and I don’t know whether to be happy or sad, happy that you’re available or sad that you’re searching for someone else.
Why? Why can’t I get over this stupid crush on you?! I don’t think even you know the answer to that. Do you enjoy playing with my heart as if it was some sort of toy?
I’m not going to say ‘thank you for breaking my heart the hardest’ yet I will say:
Thankyou for letting me experience the hurts and happiness’s of love,
Love,
Mary. K (: x
