Social Suicide

F I F T E E N : Intruder

SOCIAL SOLITUDE: ARISTELLE
Tuesday, October 30 2018
I dropped my school bag on the closest bar stool and stripped down to nothing on the way to my bed, leaving a trail of clothes on my bedroom floor. My cold, silk sheets felt good against my bare skin.
As I drifted, I began to dream. The woods, the fire, the cliff, the haunting echo inside my empty home... They were all expected. What wasn't expected was Daniel's face morphing into Holden's.
I tried to scream, but my mouth felt like it were stitched shut. He said my name over and over, and as my body started to convulse, the vision faded.
I was now half-awake. I could feel the faint touch of someone's hand shaking me. Whoever it was cleared their throat, and I swung my arm out to protect myself.
The feeling of hard fabric smacking against my knuckles and the sound of his painful groan made my eyes snap open.
"Jesus, Avery!" he yelled, holding his crotch in the fetal position on my carpet.
"Spencer, what the fuck?!"
Behind him, the window to my fire escape was open. It was still light out, and the cold breeze blew in my direction, raking my hair back. I took the white sheet with me, wrapping it around my naked body as I slid off the bed to tend to him.
"You didn't hear my voice?!"
"I thought I was dreaming. You're the one who broke into my fucking house!"
His vocals were still strained. "I needed to talk to you and you've been avoiding me."
Most people would have that as a hint, dumbass. "You've gone two years without me. Sorry to assume you'd survive another few days."
I helped him sit on my bed before leaving to get a bag of frozen vegetables from the freezer. I handed it to him and he glared at me, taking in my appearance.
"Do you have company?"
"Uh, no," I replied, a question mark in my tone. I couldn't remember the last time I invited someone over. I liked keeping my space to myself.
"Why are you wearing that?"
I shrugged and sat next to him. "I like sleeping naked."
He widened his eyes for a second and then regained his composure. "So do I."
"Why are you here, Spencer?"
"I'm here for you."
"Me?"
"Why are you dodging me?" he demanded.
I scoffed. "You woke me up to give me the third degree?"
"Good point. Why are you sleeping at three in the afternoon?"
"Are you judging me?" I countered.
He sighed. "Avery."
"Don't 'Avery' me," I hissed. "I don't owe you anything."
He turned his body toward me slowly, careful not to further hurt the injury I gave him. "You fell off the face of the Earth. After the week you had..." He huffed. "I was worried about you."
Every fiber of my being wanted to ask why. And then I wanted to punch him because I knew he wouldn't give me a real answer. I bit my tongue.
"Do you mind if I stay for a while?" He groaned again. "I don't think I can drive like this."
I winced. "Sure. I'm really sorry about that."
"Thanks." He started to make his way out of my room. "I already knew you could look out for yourself, but bloody hell."
"Where are you going?"
He paused, puzzled. "The couch."
"Why?"
"Now that I know you're avoiding me on purpose, this is me giving you space."
I caught his hand and dragged him to the bed with me. "Get back here."
"You sure?"
"Trust me. If I wanted you to leave, I wouldn't hesitate to let you know."
"It's true!" Molly called from the kitchen. I heard the refrigerator open. "She's very unpleasant!"
I leaned against my doorway, arms crossed. "Unkind."
Mol pulled out a yogurt cup and when she turned around, her gaze trailed down to my attire and her entire demeanor changed. Her eyes passed back and forth between Spencer and I, a small smirk playing on her lips. "Nice outfit."
I rolled my eyes. "We didn't do anything. He broke in through the fire escape a few minutes ago. I was sleeping like this."
"Right, okay." She winked, sauntering back to her bedroom. I closed my door and faced him.
"She's as stubborn as you are," he observed.
"Tell me something I don't know." I checked my phone for messages before sitting next to him again.
"I'm sorry for waking you up."
"No, I should be thanking you. I was having a nightmare."
He wrapped his arm around my shoulders playfully. "Well, then, you're welcome."
I smiled awkwardly. "I should go... put some clothes on."
"Aw, don't do that on my account."
"Mm-hm. I'll be in the shower. Help yourself to whatever or let me know if you need anything."
"Thanks, love." He stretched out dramatically on the right side of my bed, over the comforter, phone in hand.
I hopped off my bed and padded through my closet to my bathroom, starting the shower. I raked my fingers though my hair, inhaling the scent of my peach and nectar soap.
The scalding water eased the knots in my back. I must've slept in a bad position last night.
I didn't like the way this whole Spencer thing was making me feel.
Actually, it wasn't that exactly. I did like him.
But I liked who I was before I started to like him.
I hated the idea of being tied to someone, emotionally or otherwise. That practically painful pit in your stomach that would make you rather die than lose someone. I couldn't handle the pain of losing someone else. More accurately, I didn't want to.
Stepping out of the shower, I patted down my body with a fluffy towel. I preferred to air dry.
I opened the door to my closet to pick out some bed clothes. I came back out and laid the outfit on my mattress, but Spencer was nowhere in sight.
He left?
I chuckled to myself. Of course he did.
Returning to the bathroom so I could towel up my hair, I left my skin untouched, preferring to air-dry. I walked back to my heated room, ruffling my locks with the soft fabric.
My eyes snapped open when I heard that damned accent. "Evening." Holden smirked, raking his eyes up and down my naked body.
I was very quick to move the towel from my hair so I could cover myself.
"Spencer! What the hell?! I thought you left!"
He threw his head back in laughter, effectively falling off the end of my bed. "I did! To grab something from my car," he cackled, pointing to a blue over-the-shoulder school bag under my mounted flat screen. "Aw, man. Your face! Priceless."
"Not funny."
He raised his hands in defense. "Hey, I saw nothing."
I scoffed. "Yeah, okay. I'm not self-conscious." I grabbed my silk gown and wrapped it around me again. My mind was blank from shock.
I sprawled out on the bed and turned my browser back on. It took him a minute of catching his breath before getting up off the carpet and joining me on the bed.
"You didn't say anything," I complained after finding a film.
"About?"
"I mean, you just left. I went back out there and you were gone."
"I called out that I'd be right back after you turned on the water. I must not have been loud enough." He looked over at me. "I'm sorry."
I didn't respond. We watched in silence. Occasionally I would feel him stare at me.
My eyes drooped every few seconds. It had definitely been an eventful day.
I knew I was tired, so why did I ask Holden to stay?
I didn't want to think about the answer.

When I woke again, I was warm and the sun was gone.
It took me a second to realize why I felt different. I felt well-rested, something that hasn't happened in five years. I shot upright and heard someone's sharp intake of breath next to me. My post-sleep state caused that to startle me.
"Avery?" Spence reached out to rub my bare back. The sheets had moved slightly while I slept. "Another bad dream?"
"No," I confessed, taking a deep breath. "No dream at all."
That never happened.
He sat up and leaned his chin on my left shoulder. His curls brushed against my cheek and his coconut shampoo wafted around my face. "Are you all right?"
I wasn't going to tell him about it. What would I even say? "Mm-hm."
"Hm, okay," he whispered drowsily.