Social Suicide

T W E N T Y - N I N E : The Night I Lost You

SOCIAL SOLITUDE: ARISTELLE
Friday, December 14 2018
I stood in the middle of the empty road, under the bright, warm sun and stared at my childhood home. I knew I was dreaming. But for whatever reason, it felt real.
The street looked messy and desolate, like an apocalyptic universe.
Without my say-so, my mind led me forward. I slid my hand over the railings of the front steps, feeling peace and longing.
I didn't want to go inside. I wanted to leave this place and wake up. I tried to scream, but nothing came out. It was as if I were a spectator in my own body.
I opened the front door, stepped inside, and headed toward the stairs. My bedroom was on the bottom floor, so I knew exactly where this dream was taking me.
When I opened my mother's bedroom door, a white light flashed over and over again, revealing the room I grew up knowing and then the one filled of horrors. One second, it was floral and elegant and beautiful, and the next it was a bloodbath. My heart stopped.
It flashed once more. Brighter, hotter.
When I opened my eyes again, my mother was sitting on her bed, alive and well. Her smile was inviting and she opened her arms for me. Despite what I felt the second before, I ran to her.
"Mama," I breathed.
She hummed happily. "Ella."
I didn't want to let go. "How are you here?"
She pulled away reluctantly and held both sides of my face. "I needed to see you."
My heart was racing and my mind was frantic. Being here felt so real.
"I'm so sorry," I whispered urgently.
"What for?"
Tears fell from my eyes. A sound almost like a whimper escaped my lips. "I could have saved you."
"Don't be silly. It was my time." Her voice was fading in and out. It sounded ghostly. I shivered at the thought.
"How could you possibly think that? Your time was taken away from you."
"It's the way of the world, my Aristelle. Children bury their parents." She kissed my forehead. "I'm okay now."
I huffed in disbelief. What about me?
"You will be, too."
I cocked my head for a moment. Of course she'd know what I was thinking here.
The bright light flickered again. She looked toward the ceiling, then back at me. "I don't have long. Honey, you listen to me. You have to go back... People love you, Ella. People need you."
I stared at my mother with wild eyes. "I needed you!"
"Oh, baby. You'll always have me."
Not only was her voice ghostly, her body started to dispel now. "Mommy," I cried. "Don't leave me again."
"You'll see me again," she promised.
"Mom—" I started to beg.
"I love you."
And she was gone. I stood up and looked every which way.
The light flashed again. The blood was back, pooling all around me. I slipped on it and fell backwards. I scrambled to my knees, but it disappeared again.
Her bedroom door had closed some time during our conversation, and there was a knock on it. Thinking it was her, I rushed to open it.
On the other side stood my father, drenched in her blood and covered in sand.
I gasped awake, breathing heavier than I ever had, glancing around the room to get a sense of reality.
I never wanted to sleep again.

"Okay, serious question," Maddox directed at me. The four of us were sitting in the living room, eating the lunch I made. "Why can't you just go home and go to the police?"
I've told all of them the truth by now, tired of hiding it. I wondered why nobody's asked me this yet.
"Hey, now. She can stay as long as she wants," Desmond warned him, his mouth full. "I haven't had a home cooked meal this good since I left for college."
Maddox rolled his eyes and looked at me again, waiting for an answer.
I sighed. "Because I know what they would say. I'm crazy, they already found and tested a body, blah, blah, blah."
"They can't just not look into it if you told them you felt like you were in danger." He put on his lawyer voice. "That's what they're there for."
"Let's just say my experience with law enforcement is... less than productive. I've been put in the hospital multiple times. Three times because of him. Did they make me feel any safer then? No. No, they didn't. I don't need that right now."
"If you say so."
Good thing he knows when to shut up.
"Hey, speaking of home..." Mercy began. I side-eyed her. "I wasn't sure if I was going to tell you, but opportunity presents." She pulled out her phone.
"What now?"
"I got a voicemail from Molly."
I gulped audibly and met her eyes.
"I didn't listen to the whole thing, just enough to know it was for you. It was sent this morning."
I took it from her hesitantly. Mercury nodded once toward the sliding glass door, suggesting that I to go out there for privacy. I stood up.
I sat on a lawn chair next to the pool and just stared at Molly's phone number. Minutes passed. I finally pressed the 'play' button.
"Hey. I hope I have the right number."
Her sweet voice sent a stabbing pain through my heart. I placed a hand on my chest and closed my eyes.
"Is this Mercury Hale? I got your number from Jasper Avery. I'm looking for his sister, Aristelle." She took a beat, then her voice got sad. "Elle, if this is you... Please come home. Please. I hate that you're not here. I hate that you're in pain. And I am so pissed at you... But I need you. We can find a way to figure this out."
I didn't know how long I sat there, just thinking. When I finally went back inside, they all stared at me. Without a word, I went upstairs to pack.
The bedroom door opened again behind me, but I didn't look to see which one of them had followed.
"One word from her, and you go running." Mercy chuckled lightly. "I'm a little jealous. I've been asking you to come up here to visit me for years." She sat on the end of the bed.
Even if I did know what to say to that, my head was buzzing. I needed to hurry before I changed my mind.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were in love with her."
I snorted. "Please."
"That wasn't exactly a denial. Now I wish I would've listened to the whole thing. It must've been good."
I rolled my eyes. "We were raised together, Mercy. It would be too weird." It would be like being in love with my twin sister.
"Mm-hm..." She nodded slowly. "Is that the only reason?"
"Can we not do this right now?" I zipped up my bags.
"You're really gonna drive across the country all night while you're frazzled like this?"
"I'm fine," I told her.
The boys stood up at the table. Desmond took a step toward us. "Wait. You're leaving?"
"It's not because of what I said, is it?" Maddox asked, his normal tone returning to his voice. "I didn't mean to pressure you into going home when you're not ready, Elle."
"It wasn't you. I just realized that escaping doesn't solve anything." Something I'll need to work on.
"But are you sure now's the time? Why not just wait until the morning?" Mercy reached for my hand. "If you still want to go, then go. But don't do it now on a whim."
"It's not a whim," I assured them. "I'm finally thinking clearly. Fear brought me here. I can't let him control my life anymore. I won't. I have to go home."
Without letting go of Mercury, I leaned over to hug Desmond and kiss Max's cheek. I squeezed Mercy's hand and walked out.
Des scoffed. "I can't believe you still drive that old beater."
"Hater." I rolled my eyes. My 1969 Camaro used to belong to my mother. I was never going to part with it. When it died, it would become a lawn ornament. "I promise to be in touch more," I told them.
"You better," Mercury demanded.
"Be careful on the road." When I turned around to open my passenger door, Max had his pinky raised. I had to laugh. Pinky swears used to be a big deal for the two of us when we were kids.
I raised mine back at him. "Love you guys," I called out, hopping into the seat and heading south.