Social Suicide

T H I R T Y - E I G H T : Versus The One You Don't

SOCIAL SOLITUDE: ARISTELLE
Tuesday, December 25 2018
The nine of us sat in various groups in my living room, five of us—Mer, Jasper, Zander, me, and Spencer—on the L-sofa, and four—Elijah with Miles and Lucian with Molly—on the two recliners. I got up a while ago and had just finished putting the leftovers away. By the time I rejoined them, they were laughing.
"Who are we talking about?" I butted in, taking a seat on the corner cushion between Z and Spence.
"Olive."
"Oh, that bitch," I noted. Olivia Moore, Mol's first love.
Molly made a face. "Hey!"
"What?" I swatted her hands away. "She was."
"She was not."
I raised my eyebrows. "No? Remember that time she tried to drown me?"
"That was an accident! She was panicking." She darted her eyes away. "She had a cramp."
I scoffed. "Sure."
"Well, I'm glad your taste has improved," Elijah commented, a first ever compliment to Lucian. I guessed he already liked him better than Tyler. Eli's voice turned urgent, but I couldn't tell if he was actually concerned or just feeling gossipy. "Oh, hey, did you hear what happened to your professor last night?"
I shook my head. "No. Which one?"
"Ah, what's his name?" he asked himself, tapping on the coffee table. "Shayler? Shrewder?"
"Schreiber?"
He snapped his fingers. "That's the one!"
"What happened to him?" Please tell me he died.
"Someone broke into his house and beat the shit out of him."
Close enough. I kept the smile off my face.
"Who knows when he'll be back?" he went on. "There will probably be a substitute for a while. I heard he has, like, eight broken bones. His eye is really fucked up, too."
"Who did he piss off?" I was genuinely curious. I owed someone an anonymous thank-you letter.
"Nobody knows. He lives all the way out in Lafayette and he doesn't have any home security. There's not a lot the police can do until he wakes up so they can see if he remembers anything."
"Lovely." I tried to sound sarcastic, but I might have let some joy slip in there. If anyone noticed, they didn't mention it. I glanced over to Molly to see her reaction, but she was exchanging a look with Spencer.
I instantly had the worst feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Is that why she left in a rush after I told her? There's no way, right? I didn't think Spence was all that violent.
There was a brief flash in the back of my mind of a party a few months ago where I watched him punch Matthew, and again on Halloween, and another when he told me he wanted to kill him for what he did to me—and I knew I was right.
I guess there's something to be said about the devil you know versus the one you don't.
And yet, I couldn't help but feel relieved.
"So..." I turned my head toward my siblings. "What really brought the two of you here? 'Cause I know it wasn't Christmas."
"Well, it wasn't just to check on you. Or to yell at you." Jas nudged Mer's arm. "We needed to discuss something important. It can wait."
"Mm-hm. What's new with you then?"
"Not too much. Evan and I are looking at houses."
I smiled sweetly at him. "This soon? It's only been seven years."
He stuck his tongue out at me.
Esmeralda cleared her throat. "I do have some news." She stuck her hand in her pocket, pulled out a ring, and placed it on her finger. She held it up with some enthusiasm for everyone to view.
Molly squealed. "No way! Dallon proposed?!"
I hope that goes well. They'd barely been together for a year.
"Okay, while we let them do their thing," I whispered to Zander. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Of course." He got up.
I leaned back toward Spencer. "I'll be right back."
I led Z to my room, but kept the door open.
"What is it?"
"Firstly, I wanted to apologize for the scene my sister caused." Well, that Miles caused. "I invited you to a party, and instead, you got this, this..." I waved my hand around aimlessly.
"No," he denied, amused. "You were right, it's definitely been interesting."
"I didn't invite them. I planned on a fun night and now I feel like I'm being babysat, in my own house." I started rambling, trying to avoid the topic I wanted to go over with him.
"Really, it's cool. I'm glad I got to meet them anyhow."
"We're not close. They're a lot older and they were out of the house before my formative years." I sighed. "Listen... I wanted to tell you something."
"I know, Ari." He smiled. "I knew as soon as I got here."
"Knew what?"
"You're with him, right? You're with Holden again."
I just stared at him. "How...?"
Z shrugged. "Because I know you."
The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. He's been so kind and patient. And I've been awful, playing with his emotions, even though I've tried not to.
"I feel like we've had one too many conversations about this," I noted.
"Perhaps. But it's really okay. I'm too late. It happens."
Déjà vu, indeed. He says the words with such acceptance that it makes me sadder.
He pulls me in for a hug. "I should go. Lighten the load on you."
"You don't have to," I said quickly.
Zander kissed the top of my head. "I'll see you soon."
I didn't go after him. How could I? It's better this way. We needed some distance.
I leaned against my doorframe and watched as he said goodbye to everyone.
"It was really nice meeting you two. Merry Christmas, guys."
"You, too."
"Merry Christmas."
"'Night, Jackson."
The only person who didn't respond was Spencer. His eyes were glued to me.