Rule number seven

Chapter nine

I quietly tip toe out of our room and down the hallway. I already explained to Emma where I was going and what I was doing. I quickly and quietly get into the elevator and hit the button for the ground floor. It's around nine in the evening and I hope Justin is already down there waiting for me. I don't really want to message him and ask him where he is as I awkwardly stand there waiting for him. As the elevator doors open I step out and head towards the lounge area. It's dark but not too dark, the bar lights illuminate into the lounge creating a dark light throughout the whole lounge. As I walk in I spot Justin sitting on a couch looking down at his phone. I walk over to him and take a seat opposite him with a coffee table separating us. He looks up at me as soon as I take a seat and places his phone in his pocket. "Hey, how have you been?" He asks. I lean back into the couch trying to get comfortable because I know this is going to be a long conversation. "Not too bad." I say, he gives me a puzzled look. "Not too bad? Liv you were gone for three weeks straight. What happened?" I take a deep breath in. I want to tell him so bad but a part of me is telling me not to. I know I can trust Justin and if I tell him it's personal he'll just keep it to himself and it will just stay between us, like old times. "I'll tell you, but you have to promise that you'll keep this to yourself and this conversation stays between us." I say with a cold look on my face. I can feel his eyes examining me and that I was serious. He could read me like a book and I only go cold when it's something personal and serious. "Okay. I promise." He says. "Good." I move my legs and put them on the couch placing them underneath me, I rest my arm against the arm rest and place my hand under my head.

"I met this boy July this year, I only met him online and for the first few weeks it was nothing but a platonic friendship. But the more I started spending time with him on games and calling we got to know more about each other and I started to fall for him. It was just a small crush at first, nothing serious. Week after week I felt more and more, his personality was amazing, he looked good, he was caring and we enjoyed each others company. Things then started to progress, I started making memories with him, I couldn't stop laughing, he made me so happy. Then the flirting turned into feelings and we realised that the feelings were mutual and I started to really fall for him. I never had anyone like him make me genuinely happy, we had inside jokes, shared the same favourite bands, both had an interest in music but that was his career choice but mine was just a hobby. I've never met anyone like him and I know I was stupid for liking someone this much over a screen but I couldn't help it. There was no imperfection about him. I just couldn't help but fall in love and we kept spending time together everyday, some of my favourite memories are with him, I miss laughing as much as I did with him. But then, slowly but surely, he started messaging less, we weren't playing everyday or calling as much but we still did. It started to die down a bit until I noticed the massive change that happened. He left me on delivered for hours on end, we only played games twice a week now until he cut me out completely. He just blocked me randomly one day and I never got the reason why. It was hard for me, someone that I loved and I cared about so much had just cut me out. I couldn't message him or ask him why, I just suffered in silence. I started breaking down until I completely broke. I missed him so much, I wanted him back in my life. I have never loved anyone as much as I loved him, and I still love him. Everyday I think about him and miss what we had. Until I couldn't cope with it anymore, so I drank the pain away. I drank until I was numb, and for three weeks I came home completely wasted, just wanting to forget but I never could. I cried every night in my room, begging for him to come back. The part that hurt the most was that if we didn't live so far apart I would have been his, I think about that everyday. He could've been mine. But instead he just cut me out of his life leaving me empty. I couldn't bring myself to play the games we used to play together so I went offline for a while, I stopped playing guitar because it always reminded me of him. It reminded me of the times when we sat on call and he played guitar for me. And the worst part is that I can't bring myself to hate him, as much as I want to, I can't. I'm angry that he did this to me but I still love him with all my heart even if it hurts." As I finished I felt a tear roll down my cheek, I quickly wiped it with my sleeve but Justin got up and hugged me tight. I couldn't help but cry. I quietly cried into his shoulder as he held me. I then heard a quite cry coming from him. He hugged me tighter. "I'm so so sorry I couldn't be there for you. I live down the fucking street and I never noticed this. I am so sorry." He cried. "It's okay." I said. I rubbed his back as we both silently cried. I feel so relieved that I told him. Justin was my best friend and he knows me so well and it feels so good to tell him this. We may be crying and holding each other but it feels right. I miss my best friend, I miss him so much. I hate the monster that Mary turned into him. I hold onto him tighter and we sit there in silence holding each other. "I miss you Justin, I really do." I break the silence. He lets go of me and takes my hand. "I miss you too Liv." He says. I look down at his hand holding mine and notice that he's wearing the ring that I gave him on his sixteenth birthday. When I got it for him I forgot to ask his mum for his ring size and I got one that was too big for him but now it fits perfectly on his finger. Before he used to wear it around his neck but now he can actually wear it. I don't want this moment to end but I know that once we go back it's going to be back to not talking and acting like we're strangers.