Rule number seven

Chapter thirteen

The whole morning I spent drawing out my design on the walls and planning it out. Once I got the basic outline I went to get everyone to approve of it. Everyone loved it and I got straight to painting. I haven't said a single word since that. I plugged in my headphones and just painted in peace. I'm pretty sure Emma told everyone not to interrupt me since I wasn't in the mood and they listened. Not a single word was said to me and I tuned everything else out including him. It's now about lunch time and everyone went to go on their break and eat something while I'm still in the classroom. My music was on full volume so I couldn't hear a single person. I was just stood there painting and painting, trying to forget this morning, I need to forget him. Knowing he's here, near me is driving me crazy. Whenever I get a glimpse of him all the memories come flooding back like a wave crashing into the harbour and going over. As much as I want to get out of here I can't, I'm stuck here for another four days. I place my paint and brush down and take a deep breath. I sit on the edge of the desk just concentrating on my breathing but then the sound of a guitar interrupts me, I can feel them in the room but I don't turn around, I don't look at them. I ignore them and continue painting. After about five minutes of peace I can hear the sound of a guitar over powering my music. I take one of my headphones out to listen. I could recognise that intro anywhere. Everlong. I stand still and bring up the courage to speak. "Do you mind?" I say. I then hear the guitar stop, like whoever was playing it just suddenly stopped. "No." I let out a deep breath. I could recognise that voice anywhere. "Get. out." I firmly say and then there's a minute of silence. The awkward silence is killing me, a second being like another stab at my body. "When have you become such a bitch?" I turn around to face him. He had no audacity to say that. I could feel the anger rise in my body, I had so much to say to him. I want to show him what he did to me. I need to get it out and it's now or never. "I'm the bitch? That's rich coming from you. You honestly have no idea what you fucking did to me! You left me and cut me out with no explanation! I fucking loved you Joel and I still do but you can't get that through your fucking thick skull!" I yelled. My eyes filled with tears with every word I said and my vision became blurry. I can't do this today, I need to get out of here. I ran out of there and I ran until I could find an empty open classroom. As soon as I found one I shut the door and fell down to my knees. I couldn't control myself anymore, the tears just kept coming and I sobbed into my hands as my sobs echoed through the empty classroom. Why is he taking a stab at me again and again. My sobs filled the entire room and I couldn't breathe. In this empty room right here is where I will cry my heart out until I run out of tears. I heard the door open and then being shut lightly. I felt someone hover over me until they were they knelt down in front of me. "I left because you distracted me. I don't have time for love right now, not when I'm trying to start a career and give it all my best. I just can't do that." I know he thought he was helping but I just cried harder. Was it really that hard to tell me that. "I love you Olivia! I never loved anyone this much but I can't give you the attention that you want." My heart stopped as soon as he finished that sentence. I brought my head up and wiped my eyes. "Was it so hard to tell me. You fucking left me with no explanation or reason! I would have supported you on that. Fuck it I would have helped you in anyway I could. Instead I have cried every night for the past three weeks and I drank myself away. Do you know how it feels to lose someone you love so much just like that!" I saw that he was tearing up. He was clearly hurt but I was hurt much more and I'm going to tell him how I feel. "I begged every fucking night that you would come back, but you didn't give a shit!" I yelled. "That's not true." He said under his breath. I stood up, "Yes it is Joel! You didn't care about what I would feel. You did it for yourself, not for anyone else. I tried hating you I really fucking tried but you can't hate someone that you love. Everything meant nothing to you." I could hear him sniffling while he was still sat on the floor. I couldn't pity him, I really couldn't. I finally got what I wanted and said everything that I wanted. I can leave this room and leave him but my body didn't let me. Tears were still streaming down my face and I closed my eyes. I felt him get up off the floor. Then his lips colliding with mine, I kept my eyes shut. I couldn't open them. His hands rested on my face as he kissed me. I had so many feelings in my body right now, so many emotions filling me but despite it all this kiss felt right. His lips on mine set fireworks through my body. As he let go of my face and parted his lips I could still feel the warmth of his on mine. I could taste the salty tears and feel our broken hearts. I kept my eyes closed and I didn't dare to open them. I heard him walk away and then leave the room, leaving me here alone again. New tears filled my eyes. I love him but I can't forgive him. As much as I want to, when I leave it'll be back to where we left off but with new memories and new feelings.