Rule number seven

Chapter twenty-three

We walk down the street in silence. Before I would have preferred the silence but now it's pure agony. I feel like I should say something but he was the one that wanted to meet. He should be the one talking, explaining and apologising. I stop walking beside him and stand still. After a few steps he stops too and turns around.
"Joel I can't wait any longer, what is it?" He looks down at the ground. "Can we find a place to sit down first?" I nod in response and we walk a bit further until finding a bench on the side. It's still quite early in the morning and not many people are out. Just people walking their dogs, walking to school or work. "There's a lot I want to say and I don't know where to start." He says. I silently sit there looking down at my shoes. He takes in a deep breath like he's going to say a presentation. "I know I hurt you, I know what I did was selfish and a dick move. And I don't expect you to forgive me but I am sorry. I wasn't thinking straight and made impulsive decisions. But you have to understand that I was so in love with you that I had to chose one or the other because I wanted to give that thing my all. If I chose you my music wouldn't develop as fast and I'd have to work harder and harder but if I chose music-"
"You'd have to leave me behind." I said cutting in. He looks at me, I could see sadness in his eyes. But his face was so cold with an emotionless expression. "I just wish I knew. It would've made things a lot easier." I uneasily say. He looks down and starts twiddling his thumbs. After a while he stands up and reaches out his hand for mine. I hesitate at first but take his. He pulls me up onto my feet and puts a hand onto my waist. I flinch at his touch but ease up quickly. "I'm going to make you a promise right now. I can't lose you again." He says as I rest my head against his chest. Finally being in his arms makes me so happy. That hole is now filled but only for a short amount of time before I leave and we won't see each other or be in each other's presence. As I press my ear against his chest I could hear his heart beat. His heart was beating out of his chest but I like it. I like having that effect on him. Making him nervous or happy or excited, anything. He wraps his arms around me and places his chin on the top of my head. All I can smell is his cologne but I like that. I can't point my finger on it but it smells really good. He just smells good overall and now I will never forget his scent. The smell of his cologne will always linger in my nose, whenever I smell it on someone else it will always remind of him. Of how he was holding me tight and I could hear his heart, feel his warmth. I never imagined that this is where I would end up on this trip. Completely in love with him all over again. How his lips felt against mine and what he tasted like. Everything on the outside is sweet, loving and caring but inside he was cold and heartless. I know that he had to chose but why couldn't he just chose both. I wouldn't care if he didn't talk to me for a few days while he worked or only called me when he had time. I still would have been there for him and supporting him the whole way. I tighten my grip on him and shut my eyes.
"Joel. Please don't leave me again. My heart won't be able to take it, I just-" I softly say into his chest. He places a light kiss onto my head. "I wasn't even planning on it. I know that I put you through hell but apologising isn't going to be good enough so I'll find a way to make it up to you." He then lets go of me and I reluctantly take a step back. I then watch him as he puts his hand into his pocket and pulls out a small black box. He then hands me the box and I stare at it in my hand. "Look in it." He says and I do as he says. I take off the lid and place it underneath the box. I notice a piece of paper on top neatly folded up, I carefully take it out of the box and unfolded. Within that piece of paper was a phone number and dates of some sort. "That's my phone number and some dates that I'm available if you want to come and hangout." I feel my heart begin to flutter and my eyes fill up with tears. Happiness in radiating through my body and my heart is finally full. I look up at him and all I could see in his eyes was love. The love that I had been missing for so long, the love that I dreamt of all these nights. He slowly lifts his hand and gently wipes away my tears. I look back into the box and the next thing was a guitar pick, It was a small all black one with a white heart on it. I pick it up with my hands and just look at it for a few moments. "That's the guitar pick I used when we sang together, It means a lot to me and hopefully it does to you." 

Finally in the box was a small dainty necklace with a black heart charm attached to it. It was beautiful. No one has ever got me jewellery that I actually would wear but this was perfect. He knows me so well and I completely forgot about it. "This, this is beautiful. Thank you." He gave me a warm smile and I couldn't take my eyes of him. He was such a pure soul and you wouldn't expect anything from him. He was the sweetest boy I have ever met but he still managed to break me. But the difference between now and then is that he is trying his best now to make it up to me. He is trying to make up for all the lonely nights, all the tears spilled over him, and my heart that was completely shattered. I just hope so much that this won't be the end. That he won't break my heart again and keep his promise. That this promise isn't empty like all the other ones he made me. That he actually cares and loves me. Please don't be the last time I see you.