Rule number seven

Chapter twelve

My heart stopped beating and my body froze in shock. That one percent turned into one hundred. I couldn't move, I couldn't even look away. The boy that I was in tears over was right in front of me, standing in the doorway. Emma knew what was happening right now just by mu reaction and his and she grabbed my hand. We couldn't even leave because he was in the way. My heart sinks to my stomach immediately. "Joel sit down, you missed the introduction." He slowly but surely goes and takes his seat. So many emotions are floating through me right now and I can't tell which one's the strongest. I want to go and slap him in the face for what he did to me but also hug him and tell him that I miss him. Emma draws my attention from him and I just put my head down. I want to cry, scream, run, but I can't do any of those. I'm stuck in this room, in this room with him. He's sat on the opposite side of the room but I can already feel the tension rise with every breath. I start tightening my grip on Emma's hand trying to focus on something else other than him. How am I meant to get through the morning knowing that he's here, how do I come back here knowing that he's going to be here. I shut my eyes and focus on the teacher talking. I continue to keep my head down until this introduction ends.

Finally about five minutes later we are free to leave and go back to the other classroom but those five minutes felt like years. I quickly grab my bag and rush out of the classroom and into an empty one. I shut the door and press my back against it regaining my breath. I lose the strength in my legs and just let my body slide down the door. I feel someone trying to open the door and I just let my body go limp and Emma opens the door far enough for her to get in. "It's him, isn't it?" I just curl up into a ball and hide my face, I can't gather the strength to speak but from my reaction she can tell it's a yes. She wraps her arms around me and takes my weight off the door. I can't cry, and I won't cry. I hear the door open once again and I flinch from the sound. "It's just Justin." I relax a bit knowing I have two of my best friends here. "That's him isn't it." He asks. "Yeah it is." Emma replies while I'm left speechless. "I'm going to fuck him up." Justin says angrily. I can tell that he's pissed off and upset that someone like him could do this to me. "Don't." I manage to get out. Emma lets go off me and I find the strength to stand up. "It's fine, I'm fine." I turn around and leave the room. I turn to head to the classroom where he's not in but I find him leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets. He looks up at me and I look up at him. We stand there looking at each other, but I can't bare to look at him. He stands up straight and takes his hands out of his pocket. "Can we talk?" I just blankly stare at him. He wants to talk now does he. He's not the one that needs to do the talking, I do. I want to tell him how much he fucked me up, how much pain he caused me, how much I hate him but love him at the same time. But I say nothing, I just walk past him completely brushing him off. I walk into the classroom and thankfully the only people here are from my class. He has no right to walk in here or talk to me. After everything that he did he doesn't deserve a single word from me. Emma and Justin still haven't come back. I get the courage to look out the door window and notice them talking to him. Oh no, no, no. I press my ear against the door to hear what they are saying. All I hear is Justin's voice. "Give her time man, you fucked her up real good." He said. "I know okay! I fucked up big time." Joel says. I can't bare to listen to him but I have to. "Next time, don't make her cry on my shoulder because some fucking dick hurt her." He spat and then I heard footsteps, I moved away from the door, Justin and Emma walked in. "I need fresh air."