The Diary Of A Misfit Kid

The Subtle Art Of Taking A Compliment

If you are like me with high anxiety and depression, taking a compliment is one of the hardest things on the list to do and the worst. I start to sweat and panic at the right words to say back to someone who gives me a compliment. The first thought in my head is that they are saying it because they feel they have to, not because they want to. If you follow me for a while, you know that I am a fanfiction writer and have been for the last three years starting with a brief story called "Would you like to know me" staring the lead singer of Kiss. When it first came out, it got a significant response and my first thought was people were just being nice. I'm not that good of a. writer, why are they doing this?

See, growing up compliments always were met with a butt. You look pretty, but are you really going to go out with your makeup like that, or whatever? So when someone says something is good I'm always looking for the but after that a girl. It's something that has been programmed inside of me since I was in kindergarten. I will listen to someone say something nice and then wait for a few minutes to find out my short comings after it. It's almost as though I feel people are softening the blow a bit by saying something nice before a negative. Ive learned over the last three years that there's just good people out there and they want to let you know that you are doing well at your craft. A simple thank you is good enough to reply back to them.

People don't need to hear how it took six days to come up with an idea or how you feel fat in a shirt because that's what you are used to hearing anyway from family. They simply want to acknowledge that they think your idea rocks or that you look good at something, and maybe sometimes they are complimenting you so you will compliment them back.

Self-confidence is something I'm slowly working on after 15 years of reprograming my brain that not everyone is out to get me on something. There are people that legitimately think you are good at your craft or look good in red and they want you to know about it. I think if we focused on putting a smile on someone's face, the world would have a little less of a negative outlook on it. I'm not saying to lie to someone, but boost someone's ego for the day and make them feel good. It may, in turn, help you feel good about yourself.

We all need self love in a way. So I start my day by whispering something to myself that I'm proud ive done. Rather, it would be trying a fresh shirt that I haven't worn in a while to write 500 words in a story after a week off. We are what we think we are. If I think I'm a failure, then I'm probably going to be a failure. But if I realize the good I put into the world, that I'm a loving girlfriend, a great pet mom, a decent writer and outstanding friend. That puts a positive outlook on my day. What is one positive thing you tell yourself to keep you going?