The Diary Of A Misfit Kid

Lovers to Strangers

March 28th 2023

Three years is a long time to get to know someone. That's how long I've been in my relationship with my current partner and it's been a rocky three months since the passing of our middle fur baby girl. It's like neither of us can deal with the fact that she's gone and we want to blame the other for something we know isn't our faults.

Three years is a very long commitment for me. I never imagined myself being the type to settle down. I would just date here and there to get needs met and then be on my way. I learned after meeting my partner that Love was possible even for someone like me with a rocky past.

Yet here we are at year three, barely speaking to each other or being intimate in any way, almost just roommates that don't even know if they want to be that either. I find myself feeling more alone in the home I share with my partner than I do around my family, and that's a dysfunction junction over there.

When I try to get him to talk to me, it always met with an excuse for us being too tired or too stressed but never cutting into the deeper issue that maybe we just don't love each other anymore or at least not as anything more than friends.

Honestly, I'm just exhausted of pulling my weight, plus someone else's making a relationship work. I spent years doing that with family for it to only fail me over and over. It makes me cry when I think about this being the end for me and him because there's been so many great moments but extraordinary lows too. We always made it through, but now I'm wondering if I'll ever known when enough is enough.