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Chapter 13

Lily's POV

"Oh fuck you!" I shouted as I stormed up the stairs, slamming the door behind me.
He ran after me trying to explain himself but I didn't want to hear it, I couldn't hear him say those words.
"Lily, I'm sorry okay. I...didn't, It was a mistake" He exclaimed as he barged through the door.
"NO! You don't get to do this! You don't get to come into my life, make me fall in fucking love with you, stick your tongue down another girls fucking throat IN FRONT OF ME and then FUCK everything up Jj!" I yelled as I stood up angrily.
I suppose I should fill you in on what had happened and how me and Jj got to this point.

Everything was completely normal when we got back from our holiday, well I say normal but it wasn't at all. I had just found out I was pregnant along with Jj's baby, after the initial shock I began to come to terms with it, with being a mum. The week started quiet, I was still working up the courage to tell Jj about the baby but every time I went to say those words I froze and quickly said something else.
After the whole conversation about me moving in, we agreed that now probably wasn't the right time which thankfully after recent events was a good thing.

On Friday night everyone agreed to go out, including me and Jade. We weren't drinking which came to a surprise for the whole group but we just played it off and said we both weren't feeling the best which was true. I was constantly being sick, thinking back now I honestly don't know how no one put two and two together.
The night started like any other did, shots. As I watched everyone drink I couldn't help but feel jealous? Sad? That I wasn't able to do that anymore, I already like I was being boring what the hell is it going to be when I'm a full blown mum.
As everyone got more and more drunk, I felt myself drifting away from everyone and by 11pm I just wanted to go home.

I turned around to speak to Jj but he wasn't there, I stood up and began walking around the club looking for him but when I found him well I broke down in tears. I saw him pinning a girl up against the wall outside the toilets at the back of the nightclub.
"Are you fucking kidding me!" I shouted over the music as I walked up to him and pulled him off her.
The look on his face was nothing more than pure guilt. I slapped him on the cheek and then slapped the bitch he was snogging before walking back over to the table where everyone was sat. "I'm off, Jj's practically fucking some other girl" Everyone's eyes widened as they looked at me when I let the words come from my mouth. "WHAT!" Jade yelled clearly pissed off. She stood up and walked over to guilty looking Jj as he made his way over to the table.

I didn't even stay to witness whatever happened after that, I ran out the club and hopped into the first taxi I saw.
The moment I got into my house, I broke down. My phone was blowing up with texts and calls from everyone but none from Jj which angered me even more than what I already was. I mean he cheats on me in front of my face and then doesn't even bother to call when I run off.
That night, I cried myself to sleep. I guess I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I clearly wasn't good enough for him.

And well that takes us to now, He knocked my door exactly 15 minutes ago and ever since we've been arguing. I couldn't be bothered listening to his excuses anymore.
"Lily, please just hear me out" He begged as he stood infront of me, tears in his eyes.
"No! I don't want to hear it, I want you to leave. We're fucking done!" I shouted as my voice cracked slightly.
"I'm not going anywhere, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me Lily. I'm sorry, I know there's no excuses for what I've done but please, please forgive me"
"I can't do this, I think i'm gonna be..." I ran to the bathroom as I felt the need to be sick. Jj ran in behind me rubbing my back.
"Get the fuck off of me" I snapped as I swatted his hand away.

Jj sat on the edge of the bathtub until I was finished, as I stood up I never once looked him in the eye. At this point I honestly don't think I could, I contemplated for a moment on whether I should tell him about the baby or not but decided against it. Call me selfish but he doesn't deserve to know at this point, He'd find out one day but today certainly wasn't going to be that day.

"I think you should go Jj, It's over" I cried.
He stood up and walked towards me placing his finger under my chin and lifting my head up.
"It's never over, I love you Lily"
"No, Jj it's done. You fucked up big time, I'm not gonna be taken for a mug. Can you just leave, you're making this so much harder than you realise" I spoke as I moved away from him and walked towards the door.
"I'm not giving up on you Lils, I never will" He replied as he walked out the door and down the street. I watched him as he went, I thought about the baby and how I would be a single mum which was something I never imagined being.

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It had been 3 weeks since I last saw Jj, since I last even heard from him. Jade had been round everyday as usual, she went for her first scan last week and it turns out she's 17 weeks already! God knows how no one knew. Harry took the news extremely well, he didn't freak out, he wasn't angry infact he was the complete opposite... he cried, happy tears of course.
My first scan is on Tuesday morning and I am beyond shitting myself, thankfully Jade was coming along to support me because I genuinely don't think I could do this myself.

Harry was keeping me updated on Jj, apparently he's miserable which fucking serves him right. Truthfully I was miserable too, I just wish I'd had the courage to tell him about the baby sooner, maybe everything would be different, maybe he wouldn't have kissed that girl and maybe we would've still been together.
Harry knows about my pregnancy now as well, we kinda had to tell him considering we were constantly with each other now oh and he'd moved into Jade's. He was over the moon when I told him and promised not the tell the others although Freya and Talia knew which meant that Josh definitely knew and Simon as well.

But anyway, that was the story of my extremely eventful week, god only knows what's to come.