Nothing when Compared [Empires S1] (Angst|Hurt/comfort) {Jimmy}

864 26 8
                                    

Wooooooo, more angst!

TW:

Implied self harm

---------

"The weakest empire... Whatever... I could do anything they could, 10 times better even... I'm not weak, my empire isn't weak... I'm strong. I'm the codfather, for goodness sake!" He yelled out. He kicked the leg of his bed, hissing in pain as he overestimated his strength. "I'm not weak..."

A weak cod.

The small damaged egg.

The weak egg.

He was nothing compared to his amazing sister, queen of the Ocean Empire. He was nothing compared to the genius tinkerer that was Count of the Grimlands. He was nothing compared to the handsome, kind, elven king of Rivendell. He was nothing compared to the mystical, caring wizard of Crystal Cliffs. He was nothing compared to the charming emperor of the Lost Empire. He was nothing compared to the neighboring empire's skilled lord.

He was just a weak cod.

A weak cod hybrid.

He couldn't even call himself the codfather.

Codboy...

"God damn it! Why!? Why!? Why!?" Tears poured from the boy's eyes, hands climbing to the fins on the sides of his head. He gripped them roughly. He wanted to be strong. Not a weak cod. He tried ripping the fins from his head. It just caused insane amounts of pain.

Not the pain he deserved.

He deserved pain that would give him scars.

He was nothing compared to the building genius of the Mezalian King. He was nothing compared to peace keeper, guardian of the overgrown. He was nothing compared to the skilled fighter of the farmer queen. He was nothing compared to the wonderful copper king. He was nothing compared to the last gnome herself.

He really was the weakest.

A weak cod.

"I can't even breathe underwater! I'm pathetic!!!"

He crumpled to his bed. The cod hybrid curled up. He had nothing. His sobs seemed to echo out. His pain could be heard from afar. He just hoped the ruler of Mythland wouldn't hear him.

Sausage already thought he was weak.

Weak.

Weak.

Weak.

"Why..? Why can't I be better..?"

Weak.

Slimy.

Gullible.

Stubborn.

Weak.

Ugly.

Weak.

Weak.

Weak.

A knock interrupted his thoughts. He covered his mouth, hoping to muffle the loud sobs. "W-who is it..?" Jimmy internally cursed at himself for the stutter, along with the sobs that still came through in his voice.

"Jimmy, are you alright?" Anyone but him...

"Go away!"

"Jim, are you alright!?"

"I- I said go away!"

"Don't lie to me! I know you aren't alright! What the hell is wrong?"

"I don't want your pity, go away!" Jimmy buried his head in pillows, hearing a bang on the door. "Jimmy, I'm not your enemy here-"

"You literally are my enemy! Y-you sided with the salmon!"

fWhip let out a long sigh, "Jimmy, I just want to help. You are crying extremely loudly. If I need, I will get Sausage. He's your ally now, right?"

Jimmy didn't respond.

"Or your sister?"

No response.

"Damn it, I'll just get Scott!"

"No- Please, no..."

"Now you're talking. I know I seem like I dislike you -well it often seems like I dislike everyone- besides the point. What I'm trying to say is that I still care."

"fWhip, can't you tell that I want to be alone..?"

"I know, but I'm not risking things."

"Risking..?"

"Jimmy. You know what I mean."

"I w-won't again!"

"Tell me the truth."

"I- I considered it..."

"See, my point. Now, are we going to continue talking through a door, or are you going to let me in?"

Slowly, the door opened. fWhip looked to the disheveled cod hybrid, his hair a mess, his face tear stained, eyes red, clothes wrinkled. His fins even seemed to droop. The cod hybrid's tail flicked back and forth, backing up to let fWhip in. The tinkerer entered, soon to two of them taking a seat on the bed. Jimmy stared down into his lap awkwardly, unsure of what to say.

"Your arm."

"What-?" Jimmy looked to fWhip.

"Your arm, JImmy. I just want to check."

Slowly Jimmy extended his arm, fWhip gently taking it. He pulled up the cod's sleeve. There was a bruise close to his elbow, but no new cuts. Just old scars. "I take it the bruise is something else?" "I ran into the doorway..." "Alright." fWhip extend a hand for the other arm. Jimmy let him take a look at it. Just scars. fWhip let Jimmy take back both his arms.

"Jim, would you like to just vent?"

"Mhmm..."

Jimmy let it spill out. About all the comments, the pranks, the fighting. How he was weak, about how every other emperor was better than him. All the stress he was dealing with.

"Just because you aren't physically strong, doesn't mean you aren't strong. You being stubborn is just you being strong headed, a good trait to have. You have strong morals. You understand yourself, you don't fake your morals and personality to fit it with others." fWhip told him, "You are strong in other ways. And yes, the other emperors may have more obvious things that make them great, but that doesn't make you worse."

"You say all that despite being one of the people who call me weak..."

"We all are just teasing you. We don't actually think you are any weaker than the rest of us. We just didn't realize you were taking all of it to heart."

Eyes filled his eyes once again, "C-can I actually be alone now..?" fWhip let out a sigh, standing up. He ruffled Jimmy's hair lightly, "Stay safe."

With that, Jimmy was alone.

And...

He felt a bit better.

(863 words)

Hermitcraft, Empires Smp & Life Series One-shotsWhere stories live. Discover now