My dove

Internal demons| H&C

*Authors note ~ I'm honestly loving these fic prompts, I love that they also soothe you guys as well as myself. Such a joy for me to write and I love hearing from you guys even if it's just an ask or a message to say hi!*

Trigger warning ~ panic attacks, self harm, abuse, flashbacks

Prompt~ tumblr - xx-state-of-mind-xx~ Hey! Can i pls request platonic fem reader × Lady Lesso?? Reader gets a bad panic attack during the night and just starts running until she runs into Lesso. Reader gets a bad flashback and starts hurting herself. Lesso is furious at first and then tries to help.
Sorry it was worded so badly lol but I love your writing 💜🙏

You knew this would happen. It happened every single year. It's always around this time of year. Your brain seemed to cling to this date and force you back into that time. A time where you were a shell of yourself. It was truly heartbreaking for you to be flung back into the past, it was as if you were never going to heal from it completely. Deep down a part of you knew your heart would always bare the scars of that time. But you wish you could just forget. But apparently you're not able to.

It was impossible to avoid seeing the date, after all it was plastered all over both schools and the girls in your dormitory had calendars all displaying the date. It seemed to haunt you no matter where you went. And the lack of sleep was clearly getting to you and you were waking up with random marks along various parts of your body with no recollection of how they found their way there. Marks on a Never was certainly not unusual and as far as you knew no one had noticed anything different about you. But little did you know the professor for the school for good had noticed your withdrawn nature and the excessive amount of marks appearing. At first she was sure Lesso had taken you to the Doom room. Nothing too uncommon for her to do with her Nevers, but this many days in a row? It just seemed unfair. And that's how she came to Lady Lesso's office.

Unbeknownst to you, Clarissa and Leonora were having a hearted discussion about you. Leonora protesting her innocence, that you had not visited her Doom room while Clarissa insisting it's the only reason that made any sense and pleading with her to go easier on you. Lesso quickly became frustrated with this. After all she had not truly hurt you at all, and the fact a Never had failed to come to her in their time of need. She truly was not a monster and did not wish to be seen as one. The two women parted ways, equally as confused about the situation but Clarissa knew she couldn't do anymore for you now. All she could do is hope and pray Lesso had heard her pleas.

As for Lady Lesso, she began to pay extra attention to you whenever she spotted you about. It was clear something was going on to cause this strange behaviour, but what could it be? It stumped the fiery head women and she did not like to be at stumped. No, the Dean was typically known to be a few paces ahead of everyone else so this was a rather unusual feeling for her.  That night everything was revealed and she could honestly say, it was something she'd never had even thought of.

You had settled into your dorm that night, trying the same calming routine you always did when your nightmares were flaring. Despite the routine never preventing the dreams from occurring, it did provide a content feeling knowing when you'd undoubtedly wake you'd have everything you need at the bedside. Water, food, stuffed bear that absolutely nobody was allowed to know of and even a blanket. You'd hum the same tune to yourself every night as you drifted off into a restless slumber.

Instantly you are back there again. Back into the very own fiery pits of your personal hell. It was the same every night. The same red room, the same chains he'll even the same scent. It engulfed your tiny frame instantly making you feel the urge to throw up. You knew exactly what would happen, after all it was the same every night, just as it had been back when you were five years old. No matter how hard you attempted to pull yourself from the shadows of the dream world you never could. You had to wait the torment out and only when your brain was ready were you released. The ending was always the same, the room would be engulfed in feisty flames. The very heat of them burning your skin as you lay helplessly chained to the floor. The smell of burning flesh quickly taking over your senses, drowning out your screams of terror.