My dove

Non verbal dove| h&c

*Authors note~ I wrote this while feeling much like reader. So I'm hoping my experience will make this more relatable for you all, however I'm cautious of the fact these topics are sensitive and different for everyone. *

Trigger warning~ panic attacks, non verbal reader, past relationship trauma

Prompt ~ moon3theral tumblr} Hello dear <3 can I request a lady lesso x reader hurt/comfort w r being in a worse mental state than usual and sometimes they get these panic attacks where they go non-verbal and zone out and have difficulty breathing and leo does some grounding exercises w them and gently coaxes them? It's been happening to me and I'm having a hard time wit unfortunately
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You'd been dealing with your mental health now for years, some days were good and others slightly harder, yet it was normally under control.  The only person in the whole school that was aware of this was Lady Lesso, your girlfriend Leo. Despite being the Dean of Evil, she was the most caring and gentle human you'd ever had the pleasure of meeting let alone loving.

Recently you'd been stressed out due to the upcoming assessment period, you'd began to subconsciously neglect your needs. Unfortunately for you, today was becoming rather overwhelming for you, your anxiety was sky high and not being able to control it was triggering out your depression. Feeling useless and worthless made things so much worse. Knowing you weren't in the safety of your girlfriends office or her arms made it even more scary for you, you couldn't risk an attack of any sort.

Things got too overwhelming for you in your last hour of classes, causing you to flee the room. You felt as though your airways were closing up, your head was spinning and your chest heaving. You knew what this was, you'd had it before yet every time you still managed to convince yourself you were dying. After all that's exactly what it felt like. You were struggling to focus, trying to remind yourself to breathe and make your way to your girlfriend. It was all too much, tears now blurring your vision as the panic crept through your veins. You functioned on autopilot as you crashed into the Deans office, knocking completely slipped your mind as you we're desperately seeking the comfort from the red head.

The intrusion caused her to snap her head up with a witty comment on her tongue only for it to die on her tongue after seeing the state of you. Your hair looked as though you had been pulling at your curls, your eyes tear soaked and red while your whole body was shaking violently. You looked so small and broken in this state and it truly hurt her to see you like this. Instantly she was up cane in hand coming to lead you back to her chair. You instantly responded clambering sloppily onto her lap, hands wrapping around her neck as you struggled to catch your breath. Her hand stroked up and down your spine as she slowed her breathing urging you to copy her pattern.

"Darling what's 5 things you can see my love?" She murmured into your ear waiting as you managed to stutter out "you, chair, window, book, bed." Each word punctuated with a straggled breath. "That's it good job my pretty pet, what's four things you can hear?" She again waited for you to manage to answer her never stopping her soothing actions. "You, birds, students, wind" you replied your breathing beginning to even out. "Three things you can touch my love?" She continued to help ground you through what was clearly a panic attack. "You. Desk. Cane."

You finished the last two questions and stayed silent trying to follow her breathing pattern. She instantly made sure to reassure you that you were safe and doing a great job for her. She would keep you safe, nothing would happen while you sat in her arms.

You sat there like that for god knows how long, you knew you wouldn't have to move until you were ready and that was soothing for you. You yawned into the older women's neck, the attacks always wiped you out. Yet you couldn't sleep yet, you both knew that yet here in her arms it's all you desired. You still had to eat and bathe before going to bed even became remotely possible for you. "Would you like to talk about it my dove?" She murmured to you knowing that you wouldn't talk if you felt pressured or forced into it.  You did tell your raven everything and a sting of apologies were mixed in with it. She held you, hand still rubbing your back as she let you get it all out.

Feeling slightly better but even more exhausted than before you mumbled into her neck "I love you Leo" and she murmured back with a kiss on your head, "and I you my darling. Now how about we get you some food and a nice relaxing bath hmm?" You nodded and mumbled another apology. "Hey no, darling I'm proud of you for coming to me and allowing me to help you. Thank you for trusting me my heart." Here with Leo you'd remain safe, heart body and mind.

Word count~ 885