My dove

Chosen momma| H&C

*Authors note| another sensitive topic so I'm going to try and do the prompt the some justice. Again everything I write comes from my own experiences so please be gentle and if anyone is struggling with this my messages are open*

Trigger warnings~ anorexia and panic attacks

Prompt~ tumblr anon~ i'm so in love in your writing skills babe xx you have no idea how much you makes me feel so happy tysm Could I request motherly lady lesso where the reader has trouble with eating (anorexia) & often have very bad panic attacks because of that and lesso try her best to help her with comforting and etc please❤️ I struggle with that so bad rn.
❋ ❋ ❋ ❋ ❋ ❋ ❋ ❋ ❋ ❋ ❋ ❋ ❋ ❋ ❋ ❋ ❋ ❋ ❋ ❋ ❋ ❋ ❋
Mothers. Certainly a funny concept. The one person who is supposed to nurture, comfort and support you as you navigate life. Yet yours, well she did the opposite. So much so you couldn't help but feel relieved when you joined the school for Evil. Your mother being an Ever, now refused to even acknowledge your existence. At first you thought you'd be sad, that you were not seeing your mother. After all you only get one mother. Yet you didn't feel sad, no you just felt freedom.

Your struggle with eating has been present for years. Certain foods would cause extreme reactions for you, resulting in panic attacks. Sometimes you would have good days, but naturally you also had bad days. And on those days you couldn't help but wish to have someone to hold you and guide you through the process. Recovery was a long road, one that contained a lot of twists and bumps. The bends were sharp and honestly, it was a treacherous path to travel alone.

Since arriving at the school, you had done your best to hide your illness, you didn't want to appear weak. Weakness is not something a Never should show, you'd had that drummed into you from day one. Making a conscious effort to do well. Maybe because you wanted those grades or maybe it was due to a certain red head. When you arrived you were instantly drawn to her. She seemed to attack your gaze effortlessly. Teaching attachments are a serious thing. And on the first day you had not planned for Lady Lesso to be your attachment. Yet the world works in mysterious ways and you soon found yourself in that situation.

Lesso seemed to have a soft spot for you, you knew that with how she treated you. In fact, you now found yourself searching for her any time you two were in the same room. On the hardest days, a smile from her would brighten your day, giving you a small beacon of light to guide you. Yes Lesso was more of a mother to you these past months than your mother had been in years. And as hard as that was to admit it was a pure fact.

The day she found out of your illness, you'll never forget the sadness that lingered in her eyes, she was desperate to help in some way. As much as you knew you had done the right thing telling her, yet you felt so guilty seeing the pain it caused. And that was the night that you made a promise to the Dean, you would find her whenever you were struggling. And on those days you had helped Lesso know exactly how to help you. Exactly what you craved and needed to get through this. Maybe just maybe, having her by your side to guide you through it al would be helpful for you.

On this particular day, the food being served in the food hall seemed to be massively terrifying. You sat, gaze unfocused, starring at the plate of food as if it was the most scary monster to be imagined. You could feel yourself being swept up in the panicked thoughts, your heart racing as if it was beating at the speed light travels. It was hurting your heart. Was it going to beat out of your chest? You vaguely remember being told that when you felt as though a hand was plunged into your chest and squeezing your heart like a vice, that you should try to sit up straight. Yet your body seemed to just want to fold in half. Your vision was the next thing to deteriorate. You vaguely remember a pressure on your shoulder before you lost consciousness.

You conciseness began to flood your body once more, you instantly noted the change of environment. You were no longer in the noise hall, you were in the safety of Lady Lesso's office. The women was sat by your head, stroking through your hair to provide comfort. Only when you were fully back in the present did she help you sit up and pulled you into a loving embrace. Immediately stepping into the motherly mode. Her hand never left your hair as she rocked gently with you in her arms, whispering repeatedly words of love and support. "Oh my little dove, are you okay my darling? Is your chest still sore little one?"

You took a few more steady breaths before attempting to answer her, "I'm okay momma it is still hurting slightly but it's much better now momma" you mumbled soaking in her embrace. You'd been calling Lesso momma now for a few months, it had slipped out during a particularly bad attack and luckily she felt honoured you saw her as your chosen momma. If she could provide you with what you truly deserved and you felt comfortable with that title then who was she to deny you such a comfort. You had told her about how your mother would handle this, and to have the complete opposite from the one and only Dean of Evil was just overwhelming.

The softer side of Lesso was one that only a select few people had the pleasure of seeing it, so the fact you were one filled your heart with joy. Whenever you had bad days, where everything felt too much you knew you could come and seek comfort in your momma's embrace. Knowing she would hold you till you had weathered the storm. Only then when you were calm, she would get you some of your safe foods and encourage you to eat. "Eat my darling, take as long as you need and I'll be here with you my little one" was her constant reminder that you would never be alone and there was no pressure to eat any faster than you could handle. She wouldn't leave you because of this illness, in fact she was going to stay and help you recover. And that made your heart fill with love. Who said a mother is formed by sharing blood and DNA?

Word count~ 1137