My dove

I wont hurt you pet|NSFW H&C

*Authors note~ this is a sensitive one but I think there should be some more representation around for the topic, I hope I can do it some justice and I totally get if you wanna skip this one guys. I'll try to handle it as gently as possible and this is more of a Drabble really *

Trigger warning~ past sexual assault. Safe words used

Prompt~ tumblr anon~ Hey! Could I please request a Lesso x fem reader where Lesso and r are dating. Lesso goes up to R and starts kissing/undressing them but reader freezes and starts panicking??
Sorry if this wasn't very clear lol A
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Sometimes you wished you could wake up with amnesia. Start a new life with no memories of him haunting you. It's been years, three years exactly when you moved on with Leonora. It was a new relationship but you'd wanted to be with her for a while, fear stopping you and she promised to wait till you were ready. She new cliff notes about why, nothing to the full extent for the reason, she would hunt him down and torture him for it. And although he deserved that and more you didn't want to risk the idea of losing her.

You'd stolen kisses, and she held you like there was nothing more precious than you. For months that was all it went to, you knew she wanted more and truthfully so did you but the fear ran strong. Every time you would get upset and frustrated with yourself for how long you were taking to be ready she would hush your fears and hold you till you fell asleep in her arms. Safe. Leonora was safe. You knew that. From your first kiss she made sure you had a safe word, to others it's silly, it's just kissing but to you the thought and care that went into it warmed your heart. You choose your word and she made sure to remind you wherever it fit that you could use it anytime, anywhere and for whatever reason, she would stop instantly. She told you of the colour system she would want to use when you were ready so you were able get acquainted with the idea, allowing you to ask any questions you needed. With the lines of communication open you knew you'd be safe with her.

One night, you'd happily sat with her in her chamber, drinking and cuddling on her bed. You would say it's cause hers is more comfortable but truthfully you just liked being able to be around her items, taking in her scent that calmed you so much. It was peaceful and everything you'd ever wanted. Maybe that's why your brain ran away with itself and you boldly straddled her lap and captured her lips in a nervous kiss. Although she was shocked she made sure to remain calm, allowing you to go as far as you wanted and take full control here. Truthfully she wasn't expecting the kiss to deepen and your hands to wonder.

You made quick work of her shirt and seemed to be entranced by her chest that was now on full display, god why had you waited so long? She was stunning and you made sure to tell her that, wanting her to feel loved and appreciated. She gently brought her hands to your chin to make eye contact, "doll? Colour" she murmured and you mumbled a quick "green", before moving your lips down to her chest. Kissing and sucking absolutely everywhere, you'd never met someone who was so damn beautiful that it hurt. But your girlfriend? Absolutely gorgeous. Your hips rocked downwards as you got carried away.

Leo brought her hands to rid you of your shirt before trailing her hands over your exposed chest, at first it felt good, so fucking good you wanted more. But then the feeling of his hands on your skin resurfaced and you immediately cried out "water" and she instantly removed herself from touching you. You quickly clambered off of her and off the bed taking yourself into the corner of the room, your safety position. The guilt creeping over you at freaking out on someone so perfect and his words ringing round your mind, "no one will ever want someone so broken, no one will touch you but me." And here and now you were starting to believe him.

"Darling, doll? It's me, it's your Nora. Can you come back to me ? Follow my voice. Good girl. That's it well done my love. You're safe. Nora has you." She murmured softly on repeat coming to crouch in front of you. Your shirt in her hands as you blinked rapidly trying to clear the panic from your mind. You were safe and it was Nora. Nora loved you. Nora wouldn't hurt you. That's when you threw yourself into her arms. She held you as you calmed until it became clear you were just hiding from embarrassment. "Doll? Would you like your shirt?" She murmured as you shook your head, "doll you did good with your safe word, nothing has to happen until your ready love, I'm not mad. I just want my girl to be happy okay?" She hummed out and suddenly you were feeling better but frustrated. You wanted to try again. To touch her. But you had safe worded.

"Can-can we try again?" You whimpered fearing the rejection. "Of course if that's what you want doll you take the lead okay? Show me what your comfortable with and not yes? And remember you can always safe word love. I'll never be mad at you for it."

Word count~ 946