My dove

Forbidden love| h&c

*Authors note ~ this one is gonna be a tough one. Yet I'd be lying if I said I didn't have amazing fun writing it. This happens to be one of my favourite tropes*

Trigger warning~ burning out, anxiety and depression hints of homophobia suicidal thoughts

Prompt~ tumblr anon~ Can I request a never fem reader and lesso
R is in their final year of school about to graduate (and is 18) they are the model student because of their extremely strict parents; head girl, perfect scores and always willing to help anyone in need.
However their facade of perfection is slowly crumbling around them because of their massive crush on lady lesso who is the only one who sees through all of the perfectionist control freak bs r holds up as being them when in reality their a mess of anxiety and depression. Their work load, mental health and crush eventually become too much for r to handle and they end up having a breakdown in the middle of a school assembly about how to become the best version of yourself. They end up running out and lesso finds them contemplating ending things. R explains everything to lesso and how as an ever they should never have allowed themself to fall for lesso as they will no doubt be disowned by their family for being gay and in love with a never and how no matter what they've tried they can't stop the feelings they have. R being so worked up and without thinking ends up kissing lesso but lesso tells r to stop because she thinks she is the reason for rs suicidal thoughts which leads r to say they don't regret falling in love with her they only regret letting their family own them and couldn't handle not being with lesso. It ends with them happy together and lesso helping r figure out how to put less pressure on themself.
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You had quite the reputation in the school for good and evil. Your final year now, you had strings of awards and certificates to celebrate every achievement you had. You were head girl, a straight A student and always going above and beyond for anyone who needs it. The professors absolutely adore you, for years you'd managed to keep this facade up. The perfect child, student and the friend. Yet you held secrets, buried so deep within yourself, that's you almost didn't know they were there. Almost.

It was forbidden you knew that. A massive red warning sign screaming for you to avoid. Not only were you not supposed to be Sapphic but she was your teacher. Sapphic felt right for you, lesbian although accurate you didn't feel as comfortable with the label. The negative associations with it made you really hate yourself, yet sapphic didn't have those connections and it sounded softer and lighter. You didn't bother telling anyone, it was a secret you'd take to the grave with you, after all you couldn't come out. No your parents would lose it at you. And you'd lose that reputation you'd fought so hard to build. You would truly be a disappointment and that thought alone killed you.

You were emotional, you knew that, yet you didn't expect the school assembly to get you in such a state. All the feelings of fear, disgust, anxiety, and pure hate bubble within you. Your need to be in control and protect your reputation causing you to burn out and truthfully hate yourself. You didn't want to live a lie but you couldn't be yourself either, that was something you didn't want either. The assembly hit you hard, all about being who you are accepting yourself and others despite your differences. A constant reminder that you weren't perfect and you never would be. And that thought caused tears to force themselves free from the confines of your eyes, the air struggling to inflate your lungs as your body trembled. Your legs instantly started to carry you from the hall itself, unsure where you were going, you just continued to mindlessly run.

Your secret girlfriend noticed you left abruptly and left instantly after, hot on your heels. When she found you, you looked absolutely broken, you'd curled up, back to the wall sobbing and mumbling about how you can't do this anymore. Things needed to stop. To change. But you didn't want it. But you did. Your thoughts all jumbled and truly making no sense for the older women.

"Little one?" She murmured grabbing your attention and you instantly spilled everything. About how you shouldn't have fallen for the women, about how you needed to be perfection and nothing less. Knowing that as soon as this came out you'd be disowned and lose everything yet you couldn't fight your feelings for her. You didn't want to truly. But everything was so hard and confusing. Why couldn't you just be you, and love who you want to love? You couldn't do this anymore and you couldn't stop yourself, you lurched forward and pressed your lips to Lady Lesso. The kiss was sweet and hesitant and you'd be lying if you said the way she pulled back from you hurt. The rejection you felt worse than anything else you'd been previously feeling. You'd completely made a fool of yourself. Why would she want you?

"Little one, you can't, we can't, I can't be the reason you feel like this love. Don't get me wrong I want you. I truly do, I desire you more than anything else but I can't be the cause of this pain" you mumbled the hurt and confusion was soaking her words and your heart broke. "Leo, no! I don't regret loving you. You're the best thing that ever happened to me. I just wish I could do it openly. Freely. Where my parents didn't have so much control over me. I need you Leo. Please don't leave me. I love you and I'll never regret it."you whimpered holding her gaze, eyes pleading with her to hear your words and see the truth in them.

"Little one, I'm so so sorry my love. I'm here. We will take it slow darling. Start to slowly take things off that beautiful mind of yours okay? Work on making you feel content in your own skin. I'll be here all the way okay?" She murmured and you nodded throwing yourself into her arms mumbling thanks and reassurance of your love for her. She held you until you had calmed yourself down before guiding your lips to meet hers in a sweet kiss. Claiming you as hers. And you kissed back instantly, loving just how right it felt. Maybe you'd lose your family but you'd be free and with your Leo and that would be worth it all

Word count ~1138