Max and the adventure

Chapter 10 Purple Squirrel

I feel like a sick emotionless potato with a sword. I am not important ,im just a useless plot device in this mad beautiful world. I try to feel something but i can't. It is harder to feel something, than lifting my heavy sword. „Wow, how do you have no trouble holding your big sword?" Lilath asks looking surprised. „Its nothing really." I say sounding like the emotional rock i am right now.Frank is learning to hold his bow, he tries to hit a cyan tree stump but misses and hits an purple squirrel. „Are you ok, Max?" Lilath asks concerned. „Yes im fine." I say still ,looking into the seemingly endless distance. „Max! I know that you are lying" she says looking straight into my eyes. I try to fake smile but it just doesn't work at all.„Lilath!, Max! I have purple squirrel meat!" Frank shouts with a dead purple squirrel with a shot arrow in its head, in his left hand. We just look at him a little confused.„i try to say something in response, but he just goes in the side forest.„Im going to hunt for dinner!" As he goes away i slowly start feeling things again. After a few seconds of emotions i feel stop feeling anything again. „Do you ever just want to end suffering , but it is good and bad at the same time , so you're just confused." I ask lacking any personality in my voice. „No" Lilath says not relating to it in the slightest. Despite that i feel the most comforted with her, a thousand times more than i felt ever with Frank. Despite that i feel like a useless character, devoid of anything unique, interesting or relatable. I wish i wouldn't have taken the chance with Ray a few days ago. There have been good things, but i rather would have started alone than with Frank and Max. In my preferred order of events i still would have met Lilath. I get back into reality as Frank gives me a piece of purple grilled squirrel meat.„Yummy" i say looking at the dismembered head next to the fire.„So, you removed all of the fur?" Lilath asks looking at Frank , making sure were not getting poisoned.„100 percent" Frank says with a crocked smile on his face. „good dinner" we all say. We start eating the purple squirrel meat that is hopefully not poisoned. It tastes weirdly good. It doesn't taste like any meat i've eaten, it tastes more bubblegum mixed with an apple, with a hint of cherry. I look at everyone. Lilath has a reaction that looks like shes about to vomit, as Frank can't stop eating it. I personally just find it ok, im not going to vomit, but im also not loving it. „just based on your expression Lilath, i can tell that you don't like it and its ok. If you don't want it may i eat it? " Frank says looking at Lilath's sparkling eyes when she says:„Its all yours" She smiles awkwardly. I have a urge to throw myself in the fire, im not important in the slightest right now so , this wouldn't be any different without me. I Have a very bad feeling of this.„so what is the goal of this journey now?" Frank asks. „My idea is that we can try to find the source of the dimensional holes and stop it from destroying everyone, and to save Ray. " Lilath replies looking at green stars in the distance. I remember... seeing the dead body because we were to slow... that was traumatizing, that was the reason i stopped feeling anything. Now remembering it, i feel the pain , the sadness, the... suffering. I feel all of it. I fall to the ground crying like a stupid crybaby and becoming unconscious again. 

I see a green grassy hill, for some reason, like it doesn't make sense for it. We aren't in the real world so why-. I look around and im all alone again. I look behind me and see my house. After all of the crazy colors from that other world everything here looks like an old photograph, vague, black and white and almost only a memory holding onto itself. This weirdly underwhelming. After all of the crazy things i have seen in that world, are here just boring and nearly forgotten in my mind. I mean this is probably my mind right? „Yes this is your Mind Mister Torchier" a familiar unfamiliar voice says. „Who are you?!" I ask the kinda female voice. „Im your power and strength  " it says. „But to clear up im your conscience" my conscience says. „Wow" i say looking for it.„Max you can't find me, only i can." It says. „It is rare people even being able hear it out loud, so seeing it is most likely impossible. " my conscience says probably looking at me. „Thats why you disappeared in the hospital!" I say, finally connecting the dots.„Just call me when you really need me and i don't come." It says before becoming silent. I guess that could be helpful. I have to get back into the real world, but how. This is my mind so i should be able leave whenever i want, but it doesn't work for some reason. „i'm probably trapped here forever, aren't i?" I look down at the green"grass" trying to find an exit, but there is none. It like my mind wants to trap me here, Like it knows something really bad is going to happen. It finally clicks. I know something bad is going to happen and im probably not going to recover from it , so im trapped here. I finally get it. You know, in life bad things happen, and that is ok. I know now that everything can get better. I smile for the first time in a little while.

I wake up next to the campfire with Lilath sleeping next to me.„Max, you are finally awake!" Frank says relived, accidentally waking Lilath up„Sorry" Frank apologizes to Her. She nods smiling. It feels good being with them now, it always takes a little while, but ones it does it really is the highlight of the day, or whatever you would call this. I smile.

TO BE CONTINUED