Chapter 19

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Today has been horrible; Cayn's certainly pushing me to my breaking point. The past few days, I have had to watch him through lunch, as he made sure he flirted with every girl around him, making sure he paid special attention to Amy. Paige, my dearest friend, sits near me at the end of our table. No one other then Paige spoke to me. Amy, of course, was delighted by my sudden dismissal from the inner circle, while Levi made sure he was as far away from me as possible. I was effectively the outcast of the group. It didn't take long for me to eat and rush off.

To top it off Levi made sure that we didn't sit next to one another in class. I was left sitting up the front while he cast nasty glances my way. I was pretty sure he and the guys either side of him were laughing at me also. Finally the last bell of the day rings. I am free.

"Lilly?" Paige calls after me as I make my way through the parking lot. "Jump in and I'll give you a ride home."

Cayn stares at me as I moved away from Paige's car and towards his truck. "I'm fine, thanks." I tell her even though I want to cry. Had this been how Amy had felt?

"Don't be silly, get in." she orders, pushing open the door for me. I glance back, Cayn is helping some chick into his truck, laughing.

"Thanks." I jump in. My nerves are shot. I was going to have to talk to my Uncle about putting me back on medication before I land back in hospital. Neither of us would want that but I just wasn't sure how I would cope if Cayn's going to keep his attitude up. Tears roll down my face as soon as we exit the school. I hate crying in front of people. Just hate it. I place my head in my hands hoping that no one else will see.

"He's being a douch, an A grade douch. I'm sorry Hun. He'll get over it, just hang in there." Paige uses one free hand to rub my back.

"I know, I just didn't think it'd hurt this much...you know?"

"That's what breaking up is all about. You can still be in pain when you're the one calling things off, there is no rule that says it has to be easier for you just because it was your choice. Both of you are hurting right now, you both just have different ways of dealing with it."

"Do you think we'll ever be able to be friends?" I ask her

"That depends hun, it just all depends on how you guys manage your heartache from here on out."

I nod, knowing she is right. There is so much emotion right now running through me that I don't want to go inside when Paige drops me off. Inside has memories, the kitchen is where Cayn kissed me, hard and passionate, the lounge room was where Levi and I had had a pillow fight, I didn't want to think about either of them right now. I looked at my mother's car, wishing it was working. Opening my car's door I slide into the cool leather seat, placing my hands on the steering wheel and close my eyes, 'one day she would be mine'. Uncle Stew's truck roars into the drive, breaking my concentration. I creep quietly out of the car and enter through the back door, ready to meet him, once he's inside. Only it wasn't he who entered first. My heart pounded as I stand shell shocked, staring at the man before me.

"Jude!" I exclaim. "What...How... You're here?" I struggle to from a simple sentence. He laughs at me, brightening his whole face up and making me a little heady.

"I was about to give up, when Stewart here called me and said that I should come and visit you, so... umm, here I am."

"I just knew that you didn't have anything to do with the killings. I told Uncle Stew that. I'm glad they found out who really did it." I tell him honestly, realizing that Jude would always hold a special place in my heart, like a brotherly kind of affection that would never die.

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