Death Lilly

Chapter 23

The water is cold, hitting me like sharp, tiny rocks against my skin. Cayn hasn't returned yet so carefully I rise to my feet, turning off the water and stripping out of the cold bikini. To my surprise I feel better, still a little dizzy but no longer sick. I wrap the towel around me. Opening the bathroom door I see that Cayn is back. He stands there topless, the long lean lines of his body covered only by a pair of long, black, cotton sweat pants. I'm unexpectedly holding my breath while staring at him as he bends over, pulling back the bed's covers. 'WOW' I gasp, as I suck in a huge breath. This shouldn't have an effect on me, yet here I was, in a room, with my guy who was half naked.

"I was just about to check on you." Cayn looks at me, his brown eyes lit-up by the bedside lamp as he reaches for me. My whole body is shaking as I take his hand. Awareness hits me that I'm only wearing a towel. Two pieces of cloth is all that separates our naked bodies.

"Cayn." His name rolls off my tongue as his hot lips find mine. This is the furthest I've ever been with a man. To know that one tug would leave me vulnerable, my hand clutches the towel a little tighter, as I feel my heart start to race. Slowly we part, our bodies only inches away from one another. My hand touches his chest, running along the smooth lines. Paige's words echo in my mind. 'Forget about the rest of the world. There's no rules just fun.'

"You're staring at me." His voice is velvety and seductive.

A little giggle slips from my mouth. "It's kinda hard not too."

"Lilly." He rests his forehead against mine. "I really want to kiss you again. Hell Lilly, I am so tempted to give that towel a little tug and see if my suspicions are correct." He gives a little chuckle. "I know you want to think about us but I cant stop thinking about you. We are here, together, and all I can think about is laying you down on the bed and showing you just how much you mean to me."

There is a lump in throat. Apart of me wants him to do just that but it wouldn't be for love. Lust yes, that had always been our strength but was it enough? There was only another 5 months until I turned 18 and only 6 months before I was graduating. Hundreds of girls had done it with a guy they would never end up with, that's part of being a teenager. I had just never thought I would be one of them.

"I'm sorry," I tell myself, praying that tomorrow I wouldn't hold any regrets.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, you don't have to do anything you're not ready for. Hell if it makes you feel better I can leave." Cayn misunderstands but I let him continue. "I would never make you do something you weren't ready for." He murmurs into my ear making my whole body tremble.

"I know," gazing into his eyes, whispering "but I really think I want to."

Gently he helps to the bed, lying down next to me. He props himself up on his elbow, one hand hovering just above where I have tucked in my towel. This is it, I realize, his hand careful as he pulls one side of the towel away from the other. I am exposed. My heart threatens to burst from my chest. A solitary finger dances across my skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake. Reaching up, I pull him closer but he resists. My heart speeds up as his lips touch the delicate skin of my wrists moving to my elbow. It seems like an excruciatingly long time before they make their way back to my own lips.

His hand slides down the length of my back, gripping my thigh almost brutally as he hooks it up over his hip. I can feel him pressed up hard against me, the only thing in our way is his sweat pants. Fear seeps in, asking me if I'm really ready.

"Cayn..." I barely whisper, the truth is that I'm just not ready.

He lets out a large sigh, pushing me off him. "Let me guess..." His hand runs though his hair with frustration. "You want us to stop."