The Way Of Life

33:
I know my feelings are valid but when I bring them up I feel like an idiot because maybe i'm being dramatic.
-Nex

34:
The little girl I used to be would be so disapointed in me right now.
-Nex

35:
Is life really worth all this pain?
I still don't know the answer to that and I fear that I never will...
-Nex

TW!
36:
I'm addicted to a lot of things I know aren't healthy but it's all better than killing myself.
-Nex

37:
I'm proud of you for getting out of bed.
I'm proud of you for doing the things others see as normal.
I know life isn't always easy but you got this.
I belive in you.
-Nex

38:
"It get's better"
Please tell me when does it get better?
Because I don't see an end to it and I've been suffering for a long time.
-Nex

TW!

39: sh
I was scared that I would scar as easily and fast as I bruise but luckily I don't.
-Nex

40:
The problem is that I am not scared of death.
I act like nothing could kill me.
It's stupid and I know it but I can't stop.
I love the danger of not knowing if it is going to kill me because that is what makes me feel alive.
-Nex

41:
Did you know that I stayed alive for you?
There was a time in my life where I couldn't stay alive for myself and you were the only reason I stayed.
-Nex

42:
I gaslight myself into thinking that I'm ok.
Because I know other people have it worse.
There is nothing wrong with me so I shouldn't feel bad.
Right?
-Nex

43: "is it better to speak or to die?"
I've alwasys been a it's better to die kind of person.
You will never hear the full story of what I've been through.
-Nex

44: T
Years ago you told me that no one could love someone like me.
And even tho so many people tell me that they love me, the voice in my head tells me that you are right.
And that is the lonliest feeling in the world.
-Nex

45:
How is it that we went through the same shit together, but I'm the only one with a mental disorder?
How is that fair?
What did you do to be so untouched by everything?
-Nex

TW!
46: Depression
The worst part of depression, at least with my depression. Is the anger and frustration against yourself.
It is a very overwehlming feeling and it overcomes you out of nowhere.
It can make you cry, scream or hurt yourself.
I hate it but I can't prevent that from happening.
-Nex