101: daddy issues Nr. I lost count
My mother and I got in a lot of arguments growing up because I said that my father never had time for me and that he didn't show that he loved me or that he was proud of me. I spend years being affraid of him.
I'm 18 now and a few days ago my mother and I had that argument again and today I found a picture I drew and gifted my father for chrimas a few years ago ripped up in the trash.
He took it off of his office wall, ripped it up and walked downstairs to throw the ripped up picture in the trash outside.
That hurt. It's things like these why I hate my father and why I have daddy issues.
Oh how glad I am to move out soon so I don't have to put up with this shit anymore.
I won't be coming back "home".
This was never a home to me in the first place not with those people as parents.
Never once have I felt loved or seen or understood by my parents.
This wasen't how I deserved to be treated.
-Nex
TW!: sh, suicidal thoughts
102:
And just like that 1 and 1/2 years sh free down the drain.
It's been a while since I felt so belittlet by my parents.
I don't know how long I can hold on.
The thoughts are back again and stronger than before.
I just want all of this to end and the only thing I can thing about is death.
I just want to be at peace for once in my life.
-Nex
103: M
I made a misstake letting you back into my life and I am paying a fortune for it.
The worste part of this is that I couldn't stop you from entering my life again.
You just walked right back into my heart without me realizing
And I am hurtig already.
-Nex
104:
You can't get better in the environment that you got sick in,
So stop coming back,
Things will only get worse if you do.
-Nex
105:
I have only been gone for a month but my parents and our relationship has changed so much and I don't know how to feel about that.
-Nex
TW!
106:
This is killing me and I don't know how to stop it.
-Nex
107:
Right now disapointing myself hurts more than anything else.
-Nex
108: dedication
I dedicate this book to my younger self, I'm sorry that I let people treat you that way and I now know that I should have spoken up for myself.
To the younger me that I have scattered across these pages I hope you know that you did not deserve to be put through all of that, you deserve so much love.
I hope you rest in peace now.
-Nex
109:
I feel like I have to be perfect, but I'm loosing my shit and I don't know how to talk about it.
I want everyone to be proud of me but I fear that that will never happen.
-Nex
YOU ARE READING
The Way Of Life
ПоэзияThe way of life A book full of poems and prose about how I felt and what I went trough in life up to this point. Please be aware of the trigger warnings mentiont in the beginning. Some of the poems are already old. I am a lot better now, please don'...
