The Way Of Life

110: Tis the damn season
I am done sacrificing my well being and happyness to please others. I am not responsible for keeping the peace in the family.
I have a choice and I choose not to surround myself with people that I don't like and that only do me harm.
I'm truly sorry that you feel like you are obligated to do so but that doesn't give you the right to make me do the same.
Just because you are family doesn't mean that I owe you anything.
-Nex

111: Still got daddy issues
"My father is a horrible person, and I'm his favorit daughter..."
It hurts seeing all these fathers being there for their children and being nice, caring and loveing.
I'm wondering why you were never like that.
-Nex

TW!
112:
Do you have any idea what it feels like, when the monster from your nightmares comes back for you.
I tried so hard to escape and for what. The second I felt safe it all came back to drag me back to hell.
-Nex

113:
Your words are empty without the action that follows.
Just because you love me or more so you say you love me does not mean that I feel loved by you.
-Nex

114:
Anger is a strong emotion and it stiks with you for a lifetime.
I don't want to be angry but it is so easy to be.
-Nex

115:
"If I could leave
I would have allready left"
But there is something keeping me here
And I don't like it
-Nex

116: M
I hope you realise how unfair you are being rightnow.
You tell me we aren't friends anymore and stop talking to me.
I had to accept that without a real reason without closure. After month of no real contact you come running back expecting me to be there for you. Because you need me. And I can't just tell you to leave me alone because you need help like serious help and I couldn't deal with myself if anything would happen to you, knowing you neded help and I wasn't there. So I listen to you and I try and help you, but god forbid I want to talk to you about something else.
We only talk when you want to, when you feel like talking to me.
And that fucking hurts, I want to move on but you will never let me and that is so unfair.
-Nex

117: Grieve
Everyone grieves differently and that is okay.
You don't get to tell someone that they aren't allowed to grieve so much because you think that they didn't have a good or strong bond with the person that died.
Sometimes the death of someone makes you realise how much you truly loved them and how much you would do just to spend some more time with them.
You don't get to judge someone about the way they choose to grieve just beacsue you are emotionally unavailable.
-Nex

118: Still got daddy issues
"But he is still your father"
I can't tell you how much I hate that sentence.
How is it, that you still find a way to blame me for my father's shitty actions after everything I have revealed to you?
Is that supposed to make everything he did ok?
Is this supposed to be a fucking apology?
Why does no one ever tell my father that I am still his child, so he can think about his actions before he does them, maybe something would change.
But no, I am the only one to blame here
-Nex

119: I still got daddy issues and you still have to read about it
I hate the sentence "He is still your father". How is it that people still find a way to excuse my fathers actions and blame me for what he put me through. Like yeah I know he is my father but that doesn't mean he gets to treat me like I am nothing.
Has anyone ever stoped my father and was like "hey you know she is still your daughter, maybe treat her like one"??
No they haven't so don't tell me that he is still my father and that I shouldn't get mad at him for being a shitty human being and absolutely crushing my will.
-Nex

120: still not over my daddy issues, sorry
In another universe I have a loveing father.
In another universe I have a father that wants to spend time with me and puts in an affort.
In anorher universe I have a father that tells me that he is proud of me and that he loves me.
In another universe I have a father that makes me feel like I am good enough.
In another universe I have a father that knows how to communicate.
-Nex